My dad died on the 30th March This year, today was his cremation, I’m finding everything difficult, I don’t feel like I want to be here anymore. How can I support my son through his grief when I can’t even support myself?


Dear Oskar

Such a sad day for you, and nothing prepares any of us for the anguish of separation from those we’ve loved and known all our lives, like your Dad.

I’m a Sue Ryder volunteer and here to help if I can, but more importantly so do the community on here who are all in some stage of grief, trying to get through the best they can and supporting one another.

May I suggest The Samaritans on 116 123 if you need to hear a voice, or, and perhaps this is an idea for you son, depending on his age, but there is also a text bereavement service call Shout, text 85218. We also have a counselling service on here if you wish to contact us.

There are no words are there? just a well of emotions. Please try and look after yourself the best you can, that is the best way you can help your son. If he is under twenty there are some helplines for children and young people which are of great benefit.

My thoughts and good wishes are with you, please keep posting on here and let us know how you are doing.


Nobody ever tells you just how hard it is, i have what ifs and anger building towards his care in the NHS, he was only cremated on the 6th so only a couple of days ago.

My sons 8 and he was seen straight away by the school, he had a good chat about it all; hes going to have follow ups as and when needed so thats good.

I feel as if a massive hole is there and nothing feels the same anymore; ive started feeling suicidal again because i want to not be here but i have a son that needs me.

I feel lile its all a big mess. Grief is the worst feeling ever.

Dear Oskar

First of all, thank you for responding to my message. It’s good to know your son’s school is aware and prepared to help him through the sad loss of his grandad.

For you it’s not that simple - there is a lifetime of memories which in the future may bring solace, but which right now are tearing you apart.

Have you called any of the contacts I sent you yet? It’s hard to start as you know, but as you know, once you pluck up the courage to make that contact there is help, someone to give support and the chance you might feel less hopeless as the days go by.

It’s such early days in your loss, go easy on you.