Hi my name is ceri, but people call me dora. Last month I lost my dad due to cancer and I have no idea how to cope. I feel like no one knows how I feel but yet quiet a lot of people know how I feel, I have cut myself from people, I’m throwing my self into work so much, just so that I don’t think about it. When he died I was there, at moment I saw his eyes open and alive and then the next they were still open but lifeless it destroyed me that day I had to lie to my siblings and say he died in his sleep and now every night I wake up crying or I am just to scared to sleep. I am not the same person that day, and my friends, family members including my boyfriend can see that. I have no idea how to get back to the person I was, I feel disconnected and I don’t know how to cope

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I just saw your post. I am so sorry.
You’ve done right reaching out here. I am here.
I lost my partner 3rd May. I was also with him and can understand what you are saying and how it can play on your mind. We were lucky to be there though it’s sad right.
Sadly there are other people here who have lost their Dad recently.
Would you see a counsellor?
Try Cruse Bereavement Helpline, Google it and The Samaritans. You could get face to face counseling eg with Cruse, look online for the face to face with them.