Dad's Birthday

On 23 October it would have been my Dad’s Birthday and he would have been 57. I’ve been through 3 of his Birthdays without him (as well as the anniversary of his death, Christmases etc.) but I can feel that this year is going to be worse because I’m not even in the same country (being on my year abroad). The past years, I’ve just sort of coped with it by knowing that I had people to talk to, but I know that I can’t actually talk to people this year (and messages via text and Facebook just aren’t the same). I’m really worried that when the day comes round it’ll make me feel very homesick (which is a feeling I’ve coped quite well with since being in Italy). I’m just really worried about it, and I feel a bit silly because I’ve already done his Birthday 3 times since he died.
Similarly though, I’ll still be on my year abroad when the anniversary of his death comes round in March next year and I’ll probably be anxious about that too.

Hi Em,

It’s good to hear that you are doing ok in Italy and coping quite well with the homesickness so far. Your dad’s birthday is bound to be a difficult time, especially this year when you are far away from the people you would normally talk to.

Are you able to Skype or video call with people back home? Sometimes that can feel a bit more personal than a text, so you could think about agreeing a time to have a chat with someone on the day.

There was another conversation on here recently about how people cope with birthdays and the anniversaries of a death - I thought there were some really nice suggestions in there, so it might be worth have a read to see if any of them would work for you.

Here’s the link:

Thank you for the reply. I had a look at the link and the suggestions were really helpful. In the past years, I’ve always gone home to be with my Brother on Dad’s Birthday but this year I won’t be able to.

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