Dad's family being inconsiderate

I am honestly at a complete loss. I am so upset and angry and just needed to share. My Dad passed about 10 weeks ago and he lived with his mum and older brother who took care of her. He passed away in his room and i specifically made it very clear to everyone that i did not want them going in the room at all or going through any of his things until i had the chance to do so. They knew i was doing my exams so i couldn’t go until now, and they also knew that i was having a hard time and wasnt prepared to go back there so soon. I have just received a message from one of his sisters that she has donated some of his ‘summer wear’ to the charity shop and put ornaments and pictures - including pictures that i drew and painted for him when i was little - in a bin bag and left by the door. I am beyond angry, and so hurt and panicked by this. knowing that his stuff has been rumaged through by people who didnt really speak to him or know him and that they took the liberty of deciding for themselves when they could go through his things and what to donate. Any thoughts or advice?? i don’t want to fall out with them but i am devastated by this.

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Oh @Fudge68, it’s completely understandable you’d be feeling so angry and devastated - I’m sorry.

I’m giving this a gentle bump for you - hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.

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Oh, this is so utterly awful, I feel angry for you. I am so sorry you have had to go through this after losing your dad. I lost my dad three years ago and my mum two weeks ago.

My mum worked in probate for many years and often said how horrible relatives were when people passed, it brought the worst out in them. Do you know if your dad left a will and what instructions were in it? If he did it would be interesting to see who was the executors are and what instructions he left. It may be that his sisters were executors and responsible for what happens to your dad’s estate. Also, after 10 weeks I would have thought that the executors would have notified you if you were a beneficiary. If there is no will then his estate would become what they call ‘intestate’ which means the court would have to decide how your dad’s estate would be distributed. I live in Scotland so the law on this is completely different if you are living in England or Wales. You would have thought your aunts would have at least had the decency to let you go through his things before doing anything with them. It might be worth you going to Citizens Advice for clarity. Good luck