Daily tormented...

I now seem forever to be walking around my home silently repeating either " please Richard come back to me " or " please get me back home " repeating, repeating…I dont want to die here in Dorset, i dont belong here in Dorset, my Richards ashes are now back home ( Bedfordshire ) this is where i want now to be, back home in Hertfordshire or Bedfordshire, just how i make this happen, well this is where i need God to guide me my safest and best option…I dont feel i will be at any peace until i make this happen…although my only wish is for either Richard to be by myself as we travel or to be there at the other end saying to me " so what kept you girl… " why did it take so long, but of course these will never happen, only in my dreams…

Jackie…

hi Jackie.
im by no means a religious person,but since my soulmate Jayne left me,.ive had lots of extra grief to deal with.a family I thought would be there to give me at least a bit of support or comfort me a tad ,did nothing but feel animosity towards me.my attitude and normal reaction would of been to fight my corner and act like a cornered animal.i didn’t and im sure in some way my baby Jaynes spirit within my heart and soul as guided me to react with a little dignity, and calmness ,which ive seldom shown in the last 28 years when ive faced adversity.i wont ever get over losing Jayne,but if I didn’t feel Jaynes being and spirit was within me and giving me support.i wouldn’t be here now,as the urge and desire to leave this mortal coil and be reunited with Jayne is tugging at my heartstrings each and every minute of each and every hour of each and every day.that feeling isnt making want to do cartwheels and look forward to any kind of future,but it is getting me to scrape through each day at the moment.maybe Jackie you could at least believe Richards spirit is inside you giving you help to get through the long heart wrenching days and nights and this may at least give you a little comfort .i hope you will be guided by your Richards spirit to do what is best for you.
regards
ian

Ian, i have been following along on your troubles since the loss of your beloved Jane…I am aware of the family neglect and pushing you out, same here for me, Richards family class me as an outsider, to them i am not part of the family…Yes i see myself as a tough one, a fighter but my MS is also getting me down and i cant do what needs to be done in the way before my MS came out of the blue and took hold of me…yes i have mentioned before, i was diagnosed 11 th April 2015, my Richard i found dead in his armchair 11 th April 2019 just four years apart…

Jackie …

sorry for you troubles,my partners name is Jayne not sure why every time to say jane sorry but that was my soulmates name.ive held back for months and said nothing.again sorry your in said situation.ive got loads of health issues as well.but nothing is hurting as much as losing Jayne.
regards
ian

Dates can be strange Jackie. I dont know if they mean anything.
My mum and dad met on the 14 june, they also married on the 14 June I guess it was their choice as I never asked.
However, my my died suddenly on thex14 June.
Its got to mean something hasht it? I dont know what. I’m not spiritual and I dont particularly believe I the afterlife z

God.ignore all the spelling mistakes

Apologies Ian for my spelling mistake of your Jayne’s name, the missing " y " i can see how this would infuriate - hurt you as members including myself cant or dont get her name right…although i was not aware my spelling mistake of her name had affected you for months where you had been holding back in telling me so…Oh well, as my late father often would have said to me…" you live and learn girl…" another lesson learnt…Yes i have PP-MS, but like yourself, i too have other medical issues to deal with, and like you i have lost my soulmate, my partner…

thank you Jackie.just sent you a private message.
regards
ian

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