Dancing on the Deck, and other reasons for hope...

Some of you may have seen my post about coming back home, to the mountains, a place I loved to be, and always with T. I was worried about it and shared my anxieties here. I arrived, last Wednesday, to feeling of profound relief.

I felt T’s presence really close and all around me. I made it through the door of the apartment, saw his ski boots, cried and stumbled around - but it was ok. I just felt this relief. This apartment was were we were before he became ill - so was untouched by the horror that we went through.

He came here, after I died, of that I am certain. On Friday, I was invited to drinks on the deck at a bar a short distance away by bus. There was to be a band playing. I wasn’t sure if I could face it, but could hear T very clearly encouraging me to go. So, I went. And reader, your Alps correspondent had rather a lot of rose and danced, with our friends, to the band. The mountains were all around us, beautiful and white. T was there - I am sure.

Yesterday, I went up high to ski. First time without him. I went with an instructor. A perfect blue sky, fresh snow day. And it was lovely. T was in the air around me as I covered runs he and I had skied before. Instead of sadness, I just felt great joy. And I tried a new blue run for the first time. I felt happy, good, glad to be back here, glad to be with T again.

I was dreading coming, but I am so glad I did. I thought there was no hope. I thought my life was over. Now, through T’s gift of this place to me, and his on-going presence and love, my life may just be beginning. Today is a good day.


How lovely that you are having a good day Vancouver, I hope you have many more. T must be thrilled to know that you are in the mountains and have come so far. :two_hearts:


Hi Vancouver
So pleased to hear your trip is going well. Sounds like it’s a positive experience for you after all your worries about going. This is the problem with how we are feeling we just don’t know how we will react to situations.
Enjoy the rest of your trip xx

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How totally uplifting to read this post. T’s presence will always be with you, his love will spur you on.
Janey x


Hi Vancouver, I’m so pleased for you sometimes facing our anxieties no matter how difficult brings great emotional reward. :slightly_smiling_face:

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