darkness overshadows

it’s coming up to 3yrs without my wonderful dad and the darkness has decided to engulf me, with everything feeling out of control, my energy is off, i feel irritable, lost, broken, feeling really unworthy and “invisible” lately as though it wouldn’t matter if i just vanished (i’m not going to do anything, just the darkness is overpowering right now i just had to release it by typing it out) grief really is s*** and no matter what society demands of us, telling us we should move on and get over it, NO there is no getting over it or moving on, only moving forwards as best we can, learning to live alongside our grief…
i’m not made for this world anymore, i feel it deep within, but tomorrow’s a new day as they say

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:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

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Hi @steffi88am21 sorry for the struggle you’re feeling with your grief at this time. Yes, grief is brutal and it’s something that everyone will experience in some form or other within their lives. I think there comes a point where a choice has to be made. Either to be open to opportunities to feel emotions other than sadness or to remain in the depths of sorrow. Acceptance comes with a sense of letting things move forward. Making social connections and finding purpose can help with this. You deserve a happy life so keep pushing forward. I’m not saying it’s easy but after the loss of my Mum last year I am determined to find some joy in life again. It’s really the only way to honour her memory. Sending you best wishes xxx

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Hello

I agree about making a choice. I lost dad 5 weeks ago and mum 14 weeks ago. Both parents in 3 months.

Dad told me he wants me to survive and thrive after mum passed. He said grief is painful and earth shattering, but parents want you to find happiness and live your life well. I’m trying to do this to honor both of them as they struggled so much. It’s not easy at all - I’m expecting some really big dips. But I will try for them and do something that counts.

I guess its finding joy in small moments.

Good luck. I hope you can find some way to mive forward.

And grief is s@#t. It makes you feel so alone. Sending a virtual hug :people_hugging:

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@RobBeat08 so sorry for your losses, such a lot to process. Last year in the months after losing my Mum I suffered many dips and my motivation for life was low. Grief is a bleak landscape and I know that I don’t want to live the rest of my life in sorrow. I have read about the experiences of other people and how they have managed their grief. For me, it does seem that to navigate through, a choice to try and embrace every opportunity, is key. Parents wouldn’t want their children to suffer endlessly so I keep this in mind as I go forward. Sending you love and best wishes as you go forward too…xx

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