I’ve only recently made an attempt to start dating after losing my partner two years ago, it’s taking me a long time to even attempt it and so far I’m not getting on very well and wonder if anyone else has had similar experiences. I prefer to tell people early on about my loss as it’s so important to me yet some reactions have really shocked me one today simply said oh well time to move on and meet some one different who won’t remind you of your ex, it’ really shocked me no empathy at all and so casual. I also hate my late partner being called my ex as he isn’t I didn’t chose to be without him. Some friends says it’s expecting too much for them to understand and it’s making me appear I’m not ready to date if I say to much but how can I not mention it ? I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen and I need anyone I might date to understand my grief and my need to honour anniversaries and keep the grave looking nice . Is it too much to expect a slightly more understanding response ?
No its not too much to expect - tell them to sod off ! You not met the right type of man yet !! People are so horrible !!! Xx
Thank you I needed to hear that 
Try this site, everyone is in the same boat therefore understand and are empathetic 
Good luck 
Thank you
I understand where you’re coming from.
My wife died in September last year. She told me some time before then that if she died and I found love again, I’d have her blessing, but said all she asked was I didn’t forget about her. That would be impossible because she’s an impossible act to follow. I’d never compare though, simply because that wouldn’t be fair or right. However, if I ever do find someone , I’d want them to understand that I’ll always remember her and they would have to understand that on some occasions I’ll be thinking about her more. Anniversaries, birthdays etc.
I sort of hope that one day I’ll meet someone who has gone through a similar loss to me and that we both have an understanding of each other’s loss and that sometimes our thoughts will be with the one we lost. I have a feeling though that that won’t happen
Firstly I’m so sorry for your loss and your need to even been on this sight in the first place it’s a truly horrible thing to go through. I am trying to look at it this way, the right person will understand and they will respect our grief and the need to always remember our partners and if they don’t they they are simply not right for us. I believe it takes a special kind of person to love a person who has lost a Partner I know I don’t want to hide my grief away as even if I met someone else it would still be there it’s not going to disappear ever. Hold out for the right one that’s what I intend to do even if it takes longer.
People don’t understand unless they’ve suffered it. When it’s right you’ll know x
Respect for our passed away life partners is imperative. & I don’t think anyone who hasn’t experienced such a loss can empathise. I don’t think you expect too much. I think you maybe might need to be more selective in the pond you fish. Both myself and My partner who passed away this year. Both had lost our partners previous to our relationship. Our shared pain and respect for each others circumstance. Allowed us to fall so completely in love. Respectfully & guilt free 
Oh yeh so very true !! Lack of emotional intelliigence and empathy for sure !!! I never realised before how very stupid people are !!! Xx
I’m so glad I posted on here as it’s made me feel better about the situation and made me see that I am not expecting to much and it’s more about finding the right person who will understand. I could never be in a new relationship where I could not talk about my late partner openly, he was a massive part of my life and so many of his friends and family appear to have forgotten him as time goes on but I will always be the one who doesn’t. I think patience is the key thing.
I know … i dunno why people do that ? Its as if they dont talk about him you might somehow forget ? No you wont ever forget him …may not be at front of your mind all the time but he will always be there in your memory … mind you quite a lot at moment hes at front of my mind tbh … in everything i do xx
Exactly the same as me he’s the first person I think of in the morning and at night I still say goodnight to him. Little things like that will never change no matter what the future holds x
Seven years ago my sister lost her husband thanks to a tragic accident. Eventually she signed up to a site such as this one,as time passed she ended up meeting another member for coffee and things developed from there,they have now been married for around 5 years.
They both strongly believe that meeting each other and then getting married allowed them to help each other through the continued grieving process because as they say,it didn’t just stop.
To this day they often speak about each others previous partner and both are helping me to some extent through these early stages.
If you are ready to start a new relationship then good for you and I have no doubt that you will know when the right partner comes along. Good luck from me and dump any loser that says the wrong thing,i,e, time to move on.
Thank you 
Have just joined the group & your message stick a cord with me.
I lost my husband almost 3 years ago to suicide & not a day goes by that i don’t think about him.
I attempted entering a new relationship a year ago which has recently ended due to me not being ready.
My issues were constantly comparing him to my husband & expecting the same kind of relationship & love i had with my husband.
I know this will never be so am having dark moments on if i will ever be happy again.
My friends & family say i will find that special person again but i am unsure anyone could compare & make me as happy as he did again.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss I can totally relate as the comparison thing as it is something that worries me too. When men message me on dating sites the first thing I do is think you look nothing like my partner which I know is wrong and once I get talking to them I then think you don’t sound like him either and there’s not that same connection or rapport. My best advice is take as long as you need don’t let others rush you or pressure you it’s easy for them to expect us to be ready. I too think will I ever met anyone else I’m relatively young still and the thought of being alone forever more scares me but so does the thought or being in a relationship with someone else. I think the comparison is natural as we never broke up with our partners so it makes sense we still look for what we had with them but in a new relationship, the reality is though no one else Will ever live up to them but we just have to try and find a way to move forward but without leaving them behind. If it takes years and years so be it you will know when the time is right but I also think a big part of that is meeting the right person. I hope that helps a little xx
It does help a great deal hearing other people’s opinions, thank you.
I hope you do get to find the one that’s going to be with you for the rest of your time on earth as I too wish for myself also xx
Hi Mike. I am so sorry, i know the pain. I lost my husband Colin in July, cardiac arrest. My heart goes out to you. We have been together 34 years. He was here one minute and gone the next. We thought we would grow old together. We made plans about the future. My world stopped. I feel sick all the time and so lonely. I am so sorry. Nicky.
It’s really difficult to find another person to spend the rest of your life with but make sure you get the right one. I lost my wife of 45 years in June 2023 and I was lonely for a long while, I finally meet someone in March22, in July she moved in with me and everything seemed happy between us, in July this year she left her phone beside me to go to the toilet, itt try pinged and it was her fancy man saying he loved her, I was devastated to say the least. She moved out and in with him. She was always phoning me and evan called round and had dinner and drinks, she evan slept the night a few times. She went on holiday with him and his family but they fell out on the second day, She is now back with me living in my house and we seem to be happy. I still don’t know if I can trust her so please make sure you get the right person, hope this helps