Sorry she passed away in june2020
Ah … i see … you put 2023 
Yeh i agree … everybody different. Nothing wrong with meeting someone if it makes you happy and youre ready. I loved watching " your mum, my dad " and seeing Roger who lost his wife find happiness again, it was so sweet x
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Hello
I can understand you completely. I lost my wife just over two years ago, it still sometimes feel like it was yesterday. Her clothes are still in the wardrobe, I sleep on her side of the bed. The house doesn’t feel like a home anymore.
I feel so alone, even though my two adult grandsons live in the house, but they do their own thing, and get little conversations from them. The first six months after her passing in August were just dreadful. However, I started going to different community centres, and have met some lovely people. So, it’s true that it does get better after time.
I have met someone in my local church who recently lost her husband, she was married for sixty years. It’s too early in our friendship to determine anything about where it may be heading, I think we both enjoy each other’s company, and that’s good enough for me!
We do have a lot in common, so our phone calls seem to be getting longer!
I’m 74, she’s 84, (but looks a lot younger), but as they say, age is just a number!. I have always believed there is someone for everyone on this planet, and that God has a plan for all of us. The loss of a wife (or husband) can be very devastating, and makes you question what your new role in the family will be. She was a strong matriarch of the family, who she loved, and was loved greatly by her children and grandchildren. “Fitting in”, and being accepted by a new family fills me with a wee bit of trepidation, although I have done it before with Helen’s family in 2001, when I moved from England to Northern Ireland.
I wish you all the best in your life. There will be many challenges ahead, but I will meet them with love in my heart, and courage.
God Bless you, and good luck
Stuart
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My philosophy is ‘never say never’! Who are we to judge what people should or should not do. What ever happens to me in the future will never take away the love I have for my husband but this is a lonely life! I say good luck to everyone who finds happiness again! J x
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I lost my partner 3 1/2 months ago, and can barely see past tomorrow morning, let alone the future and possibility of moving on to a new relationship.
I did read a post on here the other day, though, that resonated with me about this.
Be very careful about future relationships and opening up about the extent of your grief and vulnerability to strangers.
We, unfortunately, live in a world where sociopathic human tendencies exist and they will prey on the weak and vulnerable to capitalize for their own gain - people in our situations are at their most weak and vulnerable
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Yeh i agree, you have to be careful. But we are all adults so i think we know really. Its such a shame we have to go.through this really ! I didnt want it , i didnt chose it ! I liked my life with him ! It was a cosy chair 
but we have to still live and survive don’t we ? Xxx
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A recurring theme is that the people who were expected and assumed to be there, disappear into the ether.
Grief is isolating by it’s very nature - even those that are there for you just don’t understand.
When someone comes along who genuinely seems to care, objectivity is compromised.
I’m not saying genuine people aren’t out there, but they are in the minority.
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing that are out there to capitalize and manipulate when you’re at your lowest and most vulnerable. If those red flags start to appear, don’t ignore them
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It’s been 18 months since losing my Jen (20 years together), and I’ve met a lovely lady who is very understanding. However, and I think this is a thing that is related to grief, I am finding my sex drive is much lower than it used to be and sometimes things aren’t working the way they should (if you know what I mean). Is this something others have experienced? (male and female)
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Most likely psychological and sub conscious guilt if it’s a first relationship - not physiological.
I don’t think things will ever go back to the way they were in all aspects
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its been 18 months for me and i am not sure about dating again. my hubby always said if i got another bloke he would send a letter with me wishing him all the luck in the world. i am set in my ways, i smoke, i dont drink, dont go to pubs and clubs, in a council house and have no money. not a good prospect for any man tbh. i am also 67.
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@Shitthisishard lovely that you have met someone but don’t know how to respond to what you’ve said as don’t have any experience of the situation but if I do in the future, I would question if the person I’ve met is what I’m looking for.
For me, I would need a deep and meaningful relationship and that person being the next one, which I will feel immediately. And it would have to be felt both ways.
Good luck going forward.
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It surprises me a little sometimes when I see how “quickly” some folks find a new partner. I know that they don’t necessarily see their new one as a replacement but perhaps find a way to rebuild their lives. And there nothing wrong with that, if it’s right for them.
I however can’t imagine yet beginning to try and find another person. Although I don’t regret or resent any of the days I spent looking after my wife her last few months I would never want to go through that again.
I know that my wife truly wants/wanted/would want (what’s the correct tense to use for the future wishes of a person who has died?) me to find someone; she told me that. She even as part of her “dying prep”, along side to do lists and recipes she wrote out tried to write a list of potential suitable prospects she envisioned “after a reasonable time”. I had to put a stop that! 
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You sound honest, sincere and self aware, so those aren’t bad traits to have to offer I would think, when the time is right for you, to look for someone.
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Hi all, just an update on my situation, as you all know I was with my girlfriend, we are now married and I have moved in with her. The problem I have is my whole family have disowned me and not one of them talks to me even my sister has stopped talking all because she cheated on me, they say she’s a gold digger but I have gave my house to my three sons but still the same. I love her and I know she loves me, her whole family have taken to me even her only granddaughter. Please everyone be sure it’s what you want before you do anything.
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Good morning,
I’ve just come across this thread and was wondering how everyone has got on. It would be nice to hear some positive outcomes 
Aww bobby that’s awful. I don’t no why people can’t mind their business. We don’t all need to agree but should respect others dissisons. We don’t need to like our relatives partner or life choices but shouldn’t let that interfere with our relationships.
Are you happy with your wife? Do you want to reconcile with your family?
Xx
Thanks Katyh , yes I love my wife and yes I would love to be with my family again. I have three sons all married and seven grandchildren, youngest 10 with the oldest 26 and it rips me apart that none will talk to me but I am sixty eight and I am getting treatment for prostatic cancer, they got it early so I have had 20 radiotherapy treatments and all is going well. Not one of my lot has even asked how I am getting on and that hurts but I have had great backup from my wife and that helps. I put it down to that’s life and you can pick your friends but not your relations. How are you getting on, fine I hope
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Sorry to here about your diagnosis, fingers crossed it all works out well! It’s good to hear you’ve found love again, how lovely
I’m not sure what you can do about your family, you can’t force people to be involved with you. It’s just sad isn’t it! Maybe write a letter to them individually explaining how you are feeling and what in an idea world you would like to happen.hen the balls in their court and hopefully you’ll get the outcome you want. Maybe invite them round for Sunday dinner, an olive branch 
I’m ok I suppose, it’s only 8 weeks for me that I lost my partner. Having lots of up and downs but I know I’ll be ok, my Andrew will be my strength and guide 
Yes you got your wife at least ! I think its fairly common when you move onto a new partner , especially if it was pretty quick that kids are pretty angry. Hope it sorts itself ? It may do yet as time goes by xx
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