Dealing with Christmas

Hello, I’m not gunna ask if anyone’s OK as If they were they wouldn’t be on here.
I hope people are though or if not then feeling better they have been.
I’ve been reading the posts about not looking forward to Christmas and I totally understand it.
I decided to cancel it weeks ago, I feel a tad guilty about it as people have invited me for dinner and asked me to go out but it’s just not there for me, not this year.
Anyway, I found this poem by American Indians and I’ve found it very helpful as to what I can do this Christmas.
Have a read of it if you will
I’m interpreting It as go for a walk, get some fresh air, do some exercise to help you sleep.
With the exercise comes the appetite I hope.
Sorry for invading your Christmas but I’m hoping it helps me and I just thought I’d share it.
If a few of you lived near each other you could do it together.
I’m not gunna say “Have a good Christmas” as I suspect nearly everyone won’t, I hope some do as it’s another step along the road.
I will wish everybody all the best for next year though as I hope it’s a better one for everybody.
Here’s the poem anyway, take care.

The Native American blessing

"May the sun bring you energy every day, bringing light into the darkness of your soul.
May the moon softly restore you by light bathing you in the glow of restful sleep and peaceful dreams.
May the rain wash away your worries and cleanse the hurt that sits in your heart.
May the breeze blow new strength into your being, and may you believe in the courage of yourself.
May you walk gently through the world, keeping your loved one with you always, knowing that you are never parted in the beating of your heart."
Apache grief blessing, by unknown author(s)


That’s lovely Craig. This is my first Christmas after losing my husband nearly 6 months ago. I was hoping to spend it quietly with my sons but they can’t come and stay with me as they have both tested positive for COVID. I have had offers to join other people’s families but I would not feel comfortable.

I will take the advice from that poem tomorrow. I will also copy it down and read it again when I am feeling low.


Hi Craig
I’ve just joined. May I thank you for sharing the blessing, which I welcome and will consider carefully after this festive season is history. Its not easy right now. I struggle, and try to be outwardly positive, while being inwardly sad at times. The pain can come in waves, without warning, or logic. As can the joy of lovely memories which are always with us. I wish you all the very best and hope you find some peace along the way. Len


Craig, thank you so much for posting this poem, I found it so poignant as had been looking out the window and the moon gradually appeared through the clouds and do so hope for a restful sleep. It has been so difficult to sleep since losing Geordie on 2nd November. I have chosen to have Christmas on my own (we usually did) as am still so tearful. My hope for everyone who is griefing at Christmas that the memories of the past will bring some comfort to you.


Thanks for sharing Craig, that last part is especially beautiful.

Hi Irene. It is still very early days for you. I can understand you having Christmas alone as no one else will understand your grief. It is nearly 6 months since I lost Glen and I am alone today as well. My sons were going to be with me but COVID has prevented that. I had other offers but I could not be with another family. I hope your day is bearable. I am sure you will shed many tears but us grievers get used to that. I am going to try and get out for a walk although it is raining here in Exeter but as the poem says ‘May the rain wash away your worries and cleanse the hurt that sits in your heart’

I will be thinking of you and all the other people who have lost someone and are alone today. We can gather strength and love from each other.



Thanks for posting this mate.
Like us all we are all dealing with something that has no rulebook or timescale.
The feeling of grief is overwhelming and the pain is unbearable but I keep telling myself it cant surely always be like this? I’m only 29 days in on my horrible journey without my soul mate but for Rachel I am trying my hardest to look after myself. Each morning for the last 3 week I get up and walk 4/5 miles, I’m now having my 3 meals a day and I’ve drank nothing but water since the accident happened. Is this making me feel better, I don’t think it is as on the inside I’m on my knees everyday but if I dont try to push myself I’m so scared of the person that I might become.


I’m so sorry for your loss and for the way you are feeling, it’s still so very raw for you. It will never go away but you will learn to live with it, it becomes part of you and you will become alive again. Your routine may not seem to be working yet but it is exactly the right thing to do, I’m 3 years down the line and if it wasn’t for getting into a routine I might still be lost. The walking is great, I’m disabled but travel the lanes on my mobility scooter every morning and it has helped enormously, I no longer have to push myself and look forward to it. The better days will become more frequent though there will still be days when you’re overwhelmed, it’'s the way it goes. Continue to look after yourself, it’s important. Much love to you xxx


It’s been difficult my mum dad and husband all died within the last 3 years my husband only 4 months ago. My son is away for 3 months so my best friend invited me to her house for christmas dinner, I forced myself to go it was nice. I came home went straight to bed even though it was only 7pm since my husbands passing i have had insomnia and barely sleep or eat. I’m not looking after myself at all. I miss him but no parents to fall back on either. My husband was only 53 for a week he did a week after his birthday and our wedding anniversary.

Hi Poppyjo
That is so sad for you losing your husband so suddenly and at such a comparatively young age. My Glen died 6 months ago and he was only 63. We found out 4 months before he died that he had cancer but we did not expect him to die so quickly. He had a major operation a month before he died and never came out of hospital. It is so hard for us but at least I had time to prepare myself for the possibility of him dying. Not that it feels any easier. If you are not sleeping I would recommend speaking to your doctor. Mine has been great and has given me antihistamine tablets which give me a good nights sleep. I try not to take them all the time but it does help to keep me a bit more sane if I can at least sleep. Take care of yourself Judy xx