Dealing with grief around young children

My mum died from cancer 5 months ago. I am 26 years old, was heavily pregnant and had a 2 year old at the time she passed. I watched my mum die on my own and it wasn’t particularly peaceful. I guess I’m just seeing how people coped dealing with grief while raising young children. Since then, my second baby has been born and I am finding it so much harder dealing with my grief.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Thank you.

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Sammy, I feel your pain and understand how you feel. Having a new baby can be a joy but also it takes it out of you both mental as well as physically but combine that with grieving and it’s the perfect storm. May I suggest you look at counselling but not just grief counselling but talk to the midwifery team because the two things are bound up together. I know time will be difficult having two small bundles but you have to think of yourself because how you feel will impact on them and their behaviour. Life is not easy but things like you are going through makes us stronger.
Take care and think about your future. S xx

Hi @SammyB18,

Thank you for starting this thread and bravely sharing how you are feeling. It sounds like things are overwhelming for you - I wanted to reach out to give some details of other support services that you might find helpful.

At a Loss is a really good website - you can search for support services in your local area, some of which may be relevant to your situation, here.

It sounds like you might also benefit from some one-to-one support - if you have childcare support and can set aside some time and space to process the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing you might find it helpful. Sue Ryder offers a free Online Bereavement Counselling service - if you are interested, you can find out more here. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

I’ve also spoken with our Head of Bereavement and she suggested searching for local or national Facebook groups. For instance, she used to belong to a group called ‘New Mums without Mums’ - she found that really useful especially when so busy with children which meant grief was squeezed into the tiny gaps.

Thank you again for bravely reaching out - I really hope this information helps.

Do take care of yourself,

Online Community team

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Dear SammyB18

Our son had a 9 month old at the time of his dad’s death. His partner had only just found out she was pregnant again two days earlier and his second child was born in April of this year. My son tried to struggle on until it reached breaking point so please speak with your GP and Health Visitor. They should be able to arrange bereavement support as a priority through the NHS for you.

Thinking of you and your family.