I lost my dad on the 26th March 22 we are yet to have his funeral and I understand that I am in the early stages of grief ,however this is my 1st time I’m not sleeping if I close my eyes the image of him in a coffin at the Chapel of rest is etched in ny minds eye and I’ve got to the point of being scared of closing my eyes not because he looks awful because he doesn’t he actually looks amazing but I don’t want to keep seeing him like that. I must sound crazy I know . But I’m also struggling with the guilt of his passing as well ,can anybody help me??
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Hello Joanne781,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
You may also find the information pages on our website helpful - if you have a spare few minutes, please do take a look: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Susannah
Hi Joanne, I am so sorry that you have been through this horrible time and from my own experience I would always advise people to think carefully about seeing their loved one after death. Yes, some people look absolutely beautiful but that is not of everyone. I would just say to remember that his sprite or soul, what ever you call the essence of your dad was no longer there within his body. It is part of your lovely dad that he now has no more need to have with him. I know that may sound silly but honestly I do believe we leave our human form behind when we die and continue on a journey with out a need for it. Please think of all the happy memories of your beloved dad, it’s those that will help you through the tough times. Oh and you are not crazy and everyone on this site will say the same, we all know about grief. Please look after yourself and take care. Sxx
Thankyou I just can’t get the image of him put of my head it’s almost like his image has been tattooed on the inside of my eye lids x
Hope it fades and you get comfort from knowing he is at peace and no longer suffering. It takes time to come to terms when someone leaves you but knowing they no longer have to deal with pain. Take care of yourself because at present you are vulnerable. S xxx
Thankyou for your kind words I will be attempting to go back to work tomorrow I did nip in though the other day for a few bits *I work in a shop . And I found the whole thing exhausting
Hi, there’s something about grieving that exhausts you wether you work or not. The emotional state takes it toll and we end up being open to every health problem around so be watchful, protect yourself. Being out of the house can be good but be careful and please take it slowly. I shall be thinking of you in the morning. S xx
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