Dealing with Grief

Hi RoseGarden that must have been so horrendous for you and my heart goes out to you for what you had to go through the shock of what was happening I’m so sorry,
I find by keeping myself occupied as long as possible l get a little relief from the pain but it always manages to surface it’s a nice day today done a lot of crying but I’ve decided to go and jet wash garden to keep me occupied you take care and look after yourself

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I am on here.

I have 2 friends and 2 neighbours who have been amazing!
They have been so helpful with practical things including all admin that follows a death. I really do not know how I would have coped without them.

I also have some family who keep in contact.

So, I have been helped and supported by quite a few people.

I am so grateful to them.

I still feel lonely, we were together all the time and obviously had a very special relationship and connection that no one can replace.

Plus, nobody living near me is a widow/er so they don’t know how it feels.

However, I still appreciate the time with others.

Inevitably, there have been people who I thought would be there, who haven’t and now the funeral is over some of those who were in contact are slipping away.

The thing is until you experience this awful life, you just cannot imagine how difficult it is. Plus, many do not want to be reminded that one day they will go through the same thing.

Big hugs xx

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Oh what an awful trauma to have gone through, no wonder you’re still in shock.
Knowing we were going to lose Roger and it only taking in 6 short weeks was awful but not like the shock you had.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. People don’t want to be reminded of their own mortality. Its easier to ignore it and hope it’ll go away

I’m glad youre getting support, we all need it now
Take care

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Thank you.

It was horrendous.

I found that during the weeks immediately after his death, I was telling everybody how he died and the help strangers, medics and police gave him. I suppose it was what mind needed.

I am going to try and get on with some things today.

I have an elderly cat on my lap, over 20 years old. He has the start of dementia.
I was told by the vet that he was grieving, he adored my husband.
Now he cuddles me for as much of the day as he can. This definitely helps both of us.
However, he hates me giving my attention to being online so I often get a paw on my hand to stop me typing.

Big hugs xx

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Thank you.

I have read many of your posts and it sounds like you have a supportive granddaughter. Plus a lovely dog companion at the moment.

Take care.

Big hugs xx

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I want to thank you for the support I have received on here.

It means so much and has definitely helped.

To know that others truly understand is on a whole new level of support.

I know we will be in contact on here, supporting each other.

Thank you dear friends :heart: xxx

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I guess each one of us is on our own journey until we get to see our loved ones again.
I’ve kept myself pretty busy today and then went out to grab a coffee and became overwhelmed unexpectedly on the way home as I passed a place where we rode our bikes during lockdown.
Hadn’t even thought about it for a few years.

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Some things we expect will remind us .
0ther things can suddenly pop up and take us totally by surprise.

There are so many unexpected parts to this grief business.

Yesterday, for me, it was seeing what he would have bought as a little treat to eat when we got home.

I suppose these count as FIRSTS. Hopefully, in time we will be able to look at these things and remember how happy we were. I certainly hope so.

Take care x

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Sorry for your loss ,i lost my husband to pancreatic cancer January this year .He was in hospital for 3 weeks with sepsis ,then wanted to come home to die with his family around his bedside .I still haven,t got used to him not here with me.

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Sorry for your loss.
I dont think I will ever get used to Roger not being here. Unfortunately its the price we pay for loving someone so much. In the end someone is going to be heartbroken

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Condolences to you. Pancreatic cancer is so brutal. Far too many people die from this because they are diagnosed too late. By the time you notice symptoms its already too late. We are the behind other countries for this particular cancer, wonder why! My best wishes to you.

My story is very similar to yours,but we were at home it was a lovely sunny day I went to clean the bedroom he went to water his plants in the greenhouse we I had finished I went to see what he was doing and he was face down on the floor I knew it was too late immediately.2 Ambulances arrived very quickly when I rang and the police they worked on him for 20 minutes but it was too late.He was fine with no warning I was just in total shock for weeks numb and just going through the motions.It’s almost 12 months now and sometimes I still can’t believe it,I will never get over it .

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Our experiences are so very alike aren’t they?

So sudden, such a shock.

Very traumatic.

Sending love and hugs x

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Very traumatic,I don’t think people who have experienced it have any idea of the effect on us.My worst time is when I wake in the mornings my stomach is usually churning and I have to get out of bed and start doing things to settle my anxiety.You take care and look after yourself.X

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So sorry …

That must have been very stressful and emotional.

It feels so strange and lonely not seeing them at home doesn’t it.

Not seeing them in their everyday places is heartbreaking.

Big hugs xx

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They don’t understand and can’t possibly imagine what it is like.

Up until recently, the time of day that it really got to me was between 4 - 7 p.m.
I don’t understand why then.

Look after yourself x

Rose garden Between 4 and 7pm , was this maybe when you started planning, cooking then eating your evening meal. Meal times were often an event of the day for me and my David, we both loved cooking, trying new recipes and enjoyed our mealtimes together. Just a thought x

Perhaps around 6 to 7. We tended to eat in the early evenings x