Dealing with Intense grief

I would go to say that my Mum and I were spiritual soulmates, we were the best of friends, to me she was both my Mum and Dad. She was always there when I needed her and she made me feel so loved and cared about.

Sadly in February, on what had seemed a very ordinary day, I received a missed call from my Mum´s friend. They had gone out shopping together. I rang her friend and she told me my Mum had collapsed. Fast forward to what went from what seemed could have been a hot flush into a fatal AAA leak that had gone unmonitored by doctors despite saying they would “keep an eye on it”. She passed away that same night.

I ´m only 26 and I feel like an orphan. I don´t have a good relationship with my father and my brother has his own problems to deal with. My work/ income situation is dire and now I am living with a friend and her family.

I am freelance and the work has been so slow, I have become completely overcome with grief, so much so it physically hurts me. I feel completely lost without her. And nothing feels worthwhile, I used to be so self-motivated which you need to be self-employed. But I just don´t seem to have the motivation to sort myself out.

Friends I thought would be there haven´t and I just feel so alone and lost. I just feel like I am going to be alone forever. This honestly feels like the worst thing that could have ever happened.

And I´m normally someone who expresses myself as not to become overcome with emotion, usually offloading with the support of my Mum. So I just feel like I´m shutting down and I don´t want to burden anyone else with my problems. It´s just so heavy.

I don´t know what to do to get out of this horrific headspace, I just can´t seem to see the way out.


Hello MCUB,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. It sounds like it was a shock, and still feels very raw for you. I’m sorry to hear you are feeling alone. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi

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Thank you.

I hear your grief, sending hugs :pensive:.
Loosing a parent, & especially someone you were so close to, & who’s a big part of your life is a big change, this has no doubt left a very large empty space in your life, & to lose her so quickly, that takes a lot of getting your head around. Ok, first thing, breathe, there if no time plan to grief, this is your journey, take the emotions as they come, you’ll work through it in your own way, in your own time.
My mom passed away 2 years ago, & I don’t get on with my dad either, my dad drinks when he can’t handle stuff, but all this meant is that he dumps his issues & inability to cope on me.
I see how easy it is to be overwhelmed, so much happening.
My mom was kind of a safety net to me, & since she passed, I feel like I’m walking a type rope, with no safety net, it’s scary, but 2 years on, I’m still here, all I can say is take it one day at a time.
Fate can be so harsh, “oaks grow strong under contrary winds, & diamonds are made under extreme pressure,” you’ll get through this.


Thank you for taking the time to send me this message, I really appreciate the support and encouragement. I´m very sorry for the loss of your Mum also, it´s truly awful. You couldn´t have worded it better, sending a hug your way also x

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I totally understand how you are feeling as ive lost my Mum 5 weeks ago.
The daily life that we are expected to deal with becomes so difficult to cope with.
I too have lost my motivation to do what needs doing,i really have to push myself to get on with anything.
I feel so tired all the time too.
I’m 62 and i said to someone i work with the other day,“i feel like the school girl again who hated school and wants to go home to my Mum”.
I hope you can find comfort and support from people,family or friends.
I wish you well.


@MCUB i understand how hard this is. I lost my mum 6 months ago . I lost my dad couple years ago. Please dont push yourself to do more only take your time its finding a balance of keeping busy but also self care aswell. My mum was my world you are not on your own sending lots of care to you xx

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