I have to say that my wife passed away 6 and half weeks ago (and it feels like years). She died of a very aggressive form of Sarcoma Cancer and was only six weeks from initial diagnosis to when she passed. We were married for 19 years (in September) and to say I long to be with her every day is an understatement. I want to be with her right now!
We were a very touchy feely couple and even just sat on the sofa watching TV, we still held each other’s hand at the very least. We would usually be both curled up together and our legs inter twined And now, that isn’t there anymore. I’m finding that it’s that physical interaction I miss more and the literally doing nothing together that is hitting me hardest.
My Father-In-Law has a strong Catholic faith and his faith reassures him that she is in a much better place. He and my mother in law seem to be taking the loss of their daughter much better than I. I can’t concentrate on much at all. Everyone around me seems to be getting back to their own lives and I want to shout and scream!
I know it’s only been a short time compared to some on here, but for a few split seconds here and there, suicidal thoughts have entered my mind, but I promised her in her dying moments that I would try to battle through without her and try to make her proud every day, but it’s so incredibly difficult!
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It is incredibly difficult. I long for a hug from my husband or just to hold his hand when I am out walking. Just him being in the house, even in another room, made such a difference. I think that everyone wants to be with their soulmate at some point but, like you say, we have to battle on for them. I battle on for my kids as they have suffered enough already. I can fill my days, I can plod through each day but for what. I would get through difficult or stressful days before knowing that it would be fine once I got a hug from him. Now, I have nothing to look forward to as all of my plans were with him. Sending hugs