Hi I am finding life and doing things very hard at the moment, don’t want to do anything my late husband was the love of my life I have known him since I was 9 yars old I am now 64,don’t have any one to talk to about loosing him, 
I am new to this site.
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Hello Lolly.
Like you, l found myself on this site for the first time today. I don’t know what l was looking for, other than l knew l needed to have contact with others going through this awful experience. I have already spoken to a few people and it’s obvious that there is a lot of support to be had here. Just reach out and talk, someone will come back to you xx
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Sorry to here about your loss.
My husband was 63 and we were married for 35 years he passed away 4 months ago.
I can only take a day at a time and cant plan roo far ahead. Each day is different now life without him strange and very lonely so i guess you will be going through some of these emotions and feelings.
You have to make time to grieve and look after yourself unfortunately it will take time to deal with this new life but we are left now to survive as our partners would want us to carry on.
Take care
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My husband used to say to me every morning ‘let’s get up and face the day’ and this has basically been my mantra for the last 6 months. And the majority of days are still very hard, but l tell myself that l am at least trying to do what he would have wanted me to, if that makes any sense at all xx
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It makes sense waking up each day and dealing with it the best we can do. Sometimes it can be heartbreaking and upsetting but we are still here and must make the most of time we have left as we dont know whats around the corner.
Take care x
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I lost my husband in January aged 62 after 38 years together. I’m 57 I go through the motions and I’m so low at times missing him so much. You just have to take an hour at a time or even a minute. It’s just existing but you have to carry on. I go on walks when I’m not working. I avoid the house a lot but know I have to face it sometimes. It’s the worse feeling ever. I still have my mum and dad so I wasn’t prepared for my husband to die suddenly at his age. I have not suffered bereavement so this has been a living nightmare that I wish I could wake up from. I know he would want me to carry on so I am trying. Sending love. We all know how you feel. x
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It is such a hard journey but it does ease a bit. I’m nearly 6 months on this journey and definitely in a better place than in the early days & months. It takes effort though. Forcing myself to go out and keep busy. The loneliness is the worst and I’m finding the darker nights make it harder. But we have got this far, so we just keep going. Yale care and be kind to yourself.
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Good morning
Yes you are correct 4 months on the pain and crying are still around but dont lastbfor hours like they did in tge beginning.
I find nights and weekends hard as we are used to our other bring around or present so feel the loneliness and quietness more.
I try to krep busy but end up putting tv on not to watch but for background noise.
I am thinking of maybe volunteering on a Sat in a local charity shop but with winter approaching not keen to go out in darker colder months as dont drive so would be relying on public transport . Still something to think sbout for spring which will be here before we know it.
Take care Lynne x
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@Galaxy75 so true. The evenings and weekends I also find the hardest. I find it quite easy to be busy during the day. It’s not that different to when my husband was alive. But we would always spend the evenings and weekends together so that is hard. I still work part time so that helps but like you I maybe need to find something concrete to do at weekends rather than trying to fill my diary with things ad hoc. Take care. X
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Hi @Jan17
Yes i have just retired this year.
Had cancer scare 2 years back now into 10 year plan of monitoring but feeling ok.
I did some volunteering with MacMillan so when i feel better go back or look another charity as lots of them need volunteers
I hope to also do some city breaks or days out in Scotland as i have my travel pass and railcard. Maybe at weekends as during the week i fill up days with exercise rock choir and line dancing.
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@Galaxy75 I hope your health keeps going in the right direction. I will definitely consider volunteering. I too would like to do some travelling but not brave enough to do it on my own. At least not yet, maybe one day.
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Morning Lolly
My heart goes out to you, I’m so sorry for the loss of your much loved husband.
I lost my husband, the love of my life just over 7 years ago. He was just 60 when he died from junctional esophagus cancer. I lost my dad aged 84 on christrmas day 2014 from Eesophagus cancer then, those few months later my husband was diagnosed.
In 2012 I lost my sister-in-law aged 52 to lung cancer and a few weeks later, her husband my brother also 52, took his own life.
Our son for reasons I still don’t know, apart from not being able to make a planned visit a few months after his dads death, his wife also have cut me and his sister and his nephew, now two nephews out of their lives. There first child was born a few months after my husband died. we had visited them for the first 3 months. I lost my mum too, very suddenly from a burst
abdominal anurysem.
My daughter is on her own with two small children and has been put through so much on top of having lost her dad and her brother and his family.
I am struggling at the moment with what some people have put us through including our own family. I understand that we all cope or try to cope with grief differently and my heart breaks that my children lost their dad so young and my grandchildren, especially our first born grandson who had six months with his grandad, have lost such a wonderful man grandad, role model from their lives.
I don’t know why I am telling you all this about my family, which is now broken. On that I have come to the decision 7 years on, that I have done all I can and for my own peace of mind have to move on. I send birthday, christmas cards, always will. My heart is broken but its the way it is, its his decision. I have to work on myself to cope with that.
To loose your husband as you have, your soul mate, for me too and so many others, for me was to loose myself and who I was, struggled with just being me.
7 years on, I wont lie, I still have such intense times, feel so alone and lost without him. I yearn for all the plans we had, to be grandparents together, for all his own dreams my husband had. His not being here for christmases and birthdays, family times. I can’t express in words. I panicked in the early days of being in the house alone, especially in the evenings and during the nights feeling so alone. But I was so lucky to have my daughter and first grandson, they kept me going I didnt really grieve properly when I look back, I tried to shut it out. Im very lucky also to have such good friends, school friends that have come back into my life, such lovely neighbours friends, other family who have all been their for me. It breaks my heart that some people don’t have that support, I know I am so blessed in so many ways.
That said, I think what I’m trying to say nothing takes away the saddness and loneliness I feel from loosing my husband. I enjoy my grandsons and daughter they are my world, the times I’m so privelleged to spend with them, with my friends and neighbour friends too. Its when you go through your front door, close the curtains. But also I’m trying to say you don’t get over it, you slowly find ways to cope with it, in your own time, there is no time frame to all this your going through.
You have made such a positive first step in your journey of opening up on this page and talking about how you feel, I hope others replies help you to know that there is always someone here to listen. I did attend Cruse Beareavement counselling and also beareavement counselling from our local hospice, where my husband passed away. They were amazing. This page also is so helpful.
I still had our family dog at the time too, so again without knowing it in the early days she helped me so much bless her, a reason to leave the house, she had to have her walks.
You dont say if you have family or a friend. If you dont please try opening up to Cruse and keep chating on this page. Cancer Research Website is another page like this that really helped me. Talking about your loss, however it happened is a good thing, dont suffer alone, there will always be someone at the end of that line sadly, like us looking to reach out to someone, I think it really helps more than we realise at first.
I hope I havent said to much or upset you, I can’t imagine how you feel after such a loss. One thing I told myself was I was so lucky to have met my husband, to have had him in my life, to have our memories no one can ever take that away. Grief is the price we pay for love. We keep their memory alive living our lives, taking them withus in our heart where ever we go, whatever we do. They are always with us.
Look after you, you matter very much too. Keeping talking.
Love and hugs to you xx
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So true a loss no matter how many days months years feels the same.
It is now a learning curve in order to move on in life. My husband was only 63 and he missed out on seeing our great grandsons 1st birthday. I have 2 daughters one here who lives close about 1hr away but have not seen her since funeral in July she was never close to her step dad. I receive the odd text ever 10 days to ask how i am and if i say not very well all i get is sorry to hear that no call nothing. She told me once she has her own life and children 16 and 15 to look after. And if it was her partner she wouldnt miss him ! My husband would be so upset glad he is not hear to see this. He did so much for her when he was here now its like he never existed. My other daughter is in Australia and phones ever week to speak to me and helps me get through the hard times also have 2 grandchildren 10 and 12 too. She was close to her dad and misses him so helps me kerp his memory alive.
2 daughters so different from each other.
I know I have to get on with things myself thank goodness for some good friends who keep in touch phoning etc.
I think unless you lose someone close you dont realise what youve list
Take care
X
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Thank you so much for your email really appreciated it,the next few months will also be hard for me, as I lost my younger brother a few years ago aged just 51, then I lost my mother 1 wk before xmas, then 1 year later to the day of mums funeral my dad passed away, so all family gone, my dog helps me by going out for walks and sometimes seeing people, but talking on this site and getting replays really helps me knowing that I am not alone
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Thank you so much for your email, really appreciate it, knowing that I am not alone with grief other people to are dealing with what I am,
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Hi thanks for your reply really appreciated it, it helps to know that you are not alone, at a time like now, all the best xx
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Thank you so much for your reply really appreciated it, it helps me to know that I am not alone at this time,xx
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@Galaxy75 that must be so difficult for you. It’s sods law that the one that is more help is miles away. I have had similar experiences with friends. They act like nothing has happened and don’t mention my husband. My so called best friend hasn’t been in touch for over a month. But others have been amazing. There’s nothing like a bereavement to show some people’s true colours.
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So true in what you are saying, wished you lived in Bristol, I would be a friend for you, we both could talk about our late husbands as much as we liked and other things, thanks again for your reply, really appreciate it, xx
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@Galaxy75 cant you save up and go see your daughter in australia ? Xxx