Hi Gill,
Oh my gosh I love The Holiday film and watched it with my mum so many times.its magical and I loved the cottage. I read that they built the cottage just to film in it and destroyed it afterwards which made me feel so sad as I really thought it actually existed.
I know how you feel about Xmas. This year I am putting a photo of mum on the chair at the table and making a cracker for her. People hearing me saying I am going to do that may think it’s strange but I don’t care. If it helps me just a little bit it can only be a good thing.
Yes it will be wonderful to meet up. Am looking forward to meeting you. Wil look for a hotel in the new year. Not sure if I am driving there or going on the train yet.
It will be lovely to start the new year knowing there’s something nice to look forward to.
And do exciting you and Lucy are joining us thus time and possibly Jules and Milliemobs too if she feels up to it by then.
If I have missed anyone else out please feel free to join us.
What have you been up to Gill?
Any snow with you ?
Are you still in your walking group?
So glad you find out group helpful. We all have to grab the tiniest bit of help. Just reading what others post helps me do much. Sometimes I can’t put into words what I want to say then someone posts something and I think that’s it that’s exactly what I meant to write. So it’s wonderful to know I am not losing my marbles.
Keep going Gill. You have come such a long way. There’s still a long journey ahead of us but together we can get through it somehow. Just knowing someone reads our posts and replies is often enough to cheer us up for a while.
Sending you lots of love x
Deb x
Hi Jules,
Am a little worried about you as haven’t heard from you in a while. I know you are going through a tough time but just want you to know I am thinking of you and the girls are. We are here for you ok so please post when you feel up to it.
We miss you on here x
Deb x
Hi everyone my name is sarah milliemobs is what i call one of my cats. Seychelles watched the holiday last night. Was devastated to find out the cottage wasn’t real. Been a bad weekend for me don’t know why but been v emotional. sobbing in asda’s car park no idea why.
Hi Sarah,
The grief will come over you at any time. I remember having a trolley full of shopping in Tesco and burst into tears when i had memories of myself and mum shopping in Tesco. One of the assistants noticed me thank goodness and said I could use teh changing room for a while.
Its such early days for you so everything will trigger you even more.
I know the cottage in the film was so so lovely and they should have left it as people would have flocked there to see it. I know I would have.
Will check on you later
Deborah x
Hello all, and thank you Deborah for thinking of me; is really lovely. I have been struggling tbh but losing myself in work etc. Probate now applied for and sorting through my old childhood home is tough. The tears come at the strangest of moments and this time of year is extra hard. But, taking comfort in the Christmas decorations and celebrations and trying to be happy for the rest of my family. I have been dipping in and out of everybody’s messages and take comfort we are all in the same storm but on different ships. Will be in touch soon x
Hi Jules,
So glad you have posted. Was getting worried about you.
It’s a tough time with the house.
Keep going because you are progressing even if you don’t think so. Every day you will something else done and no matter how small its a huge step forward.
Yes you are right it is a storm for sure.
Post when you feel up to it x
Deb x
Hi Everyone
Just thought I’d check in on you all. Hope you are managing in the lead up to Christmas Day. It’s tough isn’t it and I find the tears are just below the surface. Hearing the songs on the radio and my phone keeps flashing random memories of past Christmases: getting the flight home, going to the panto or a country pub …. it’s so painful.
We are on our way to the mountains until Friday. Snow is forecast from today until Boxing Day so that will make a change to see a White Christmas in a very different setting. Of course I so wish we were heading back to Gloucester, but new memories need to be made I guess. I’ve packed a mini Christmas tree to put in our room just like mum did when we spent Christmas in Austria one year. She’d love that I’m sure.
My dear friends, I’m sending you all the season’s greetings and hope you all can have a peaceful Christmas.
For the new members, just remember it’s really only one day to get through whichever way you can. Take care and don’t put any pressure on yourselves.
Remember this is a safe place where you can pop in to express your feelings in these difficult days. We are all feeling the same and we do understand.
Thinking of you all and sending much love.
K xxxx
Hi Kate,
It will be lovely to see all the snow and make memories of a different type of Xmas. Enjoy as much as you can.
I have had some strange things happen here today and yesterday . Will post later about them. Some to do with lights again.
Hope everyone else is okish
Deb x
Hi Girls,
Just noticed that the Sue Ryder team have put the link to our thread as its a very supportive thread.
Isnt that wonderful to think we are helping other people on here
Deb x
This is what i saw,
There’s also a really supportive thread here for people who have lost their mums, if you would like to read it:
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Hello all, you are spot on Kate and thank you all for being so supportive over the last ( almost two years for me). Has been a life line in very choppy waters. Yesterday marked two years we received the call Mum had been admitted to Hospital. 5 days later she passed away on her own. Ward was closed and no visitor’s allowed due to multiple viruses. I never got to say goodbye. She was removed from her bed within minutes - and no we didn’t want to see our beloved Mum in the mortuary that evening ( can you even believe we were asked??). Dad passed 11 weeks ago. I cried in Waitrose yesterday as kept seeing women my age with their parents etc. Buying gifts, going for coffee etc and I wish I could have one more Christmas coffee with my Mum…. I have been doing so well but think Christmas amplifies and intensifies our losses…. I’m off to Zumba this morning to try and dance myself happy ! Off for two weeks now and moving into Education has been a godsend for me. Team are amazing and the children ( despite being tricky hormonal teenagers) really lift me and give me hope thst things really will be ok…. xxxx Jules
Hi everyone, well here we are, Christmas Eve. Hope you are all bearing up. I drove home from work today and ‘the power of love Frankie goes to Hollywood’ came on the radio. It just made me cry. I remember that being out in the charts. It made me think of Christmases from my childhood. How innocent and pure it was then. I hadn’t known pain and loss then. Mum and dad were young and it was me and my siblings just enjoying life. Happy times. I then started thinking one day my kids will think about their Christmases when we were altogether. It just made me want to try and focus on the loved ones I have in my life now and enjoy the blessings of that. Try and change my mindset a little.
I’ll probably have a bath at some point tomorrow so I can have a little cry in private but I’m going to try and enjoy the day for what it is. It is a tough one as Christmas Day was the last time both mum and dad ever went to bed in their own bed. Dad died Boxing Day and mum went to hospital Boxing Day and died a couple of weeks later. Nothing will ever change that but I can try and change my focus.
I have all mum and grandmas crockery set on my table and I’m going to try and feel blessed to have loved ones to spend Christmas with.
Sending you all my love and thoughts fur a tough day tomorrow Hxxx
Hi all hope everyone is doing as well as they can or better. Julest i get the dance yourself happy idea. I’ve had depression on and off all my life and dancing round my living room always helped. Ive put decs up in my house but have avoided her house as decorating her house (the family home) was my task. Years ago mum made me promise I’d always have a real tree so i do, even tho she bought me a fake one!!
Hi everyone, wanted to say merry christmas 2024, its been a year now since i started reading your forum chat, and kind words, thanks again for your support. Milliemobs, your tree sounds beautiful, well done for making this effort. We’ve a wee tree up here at my dads, its the one out the loft, Woolies circa 1989! Had a real tree some years growing up and loved it, will be making happy memories for your daughter. Thinking of you all this Christmas, sending love, from Gill xx
Hi everyone, just a reminder you are not alone in the rollercoaster of emotions over the next few days. Thinking of you all and wishing you some joy and peace. love Hxxx
Hello everyone, I’ve been reading as always but the last two weeks have been very tough coupled with me having Covid. What more could you ask for, eh?! Thank you all for such support and all your kind, invaluable words - it the most incredible gift in such hard times. That you all, also, for being so strong. Even if you don’t feel it, you are. Even if there are tough days, one after another, you are all doing life and living to honour your mums. That’s who they made each of us here. It’s because of them and isn’t that amazing? Not everyone has that. So thank you all for giving me hope and comfort. I can’t wait to meet those of you who will be there in march. I can well imagine some wonderful chats!
Today will be hard but the grief has swept over me so often I’m not sure it will be much different to all the other days for me. I’ll get through it for my partner and little dog, although even doing the tree was so so difficult. I just couldn’t summon the will or energy. It took me hours!
I know that feeling of not wanting to decide on things or do things somehow. Just being sort of numb and disconnected. I’m going to try to be kind to myself, acknowledge it and then try, in each of those moments, to behave with more intent. I say this now…
Anyway, thinking of you all now and so often and sending love for as much of a merry Christmas as is possible for any of us!
Will write more soon, Lxx
Hi Girls,
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and send my love and strength to get through today. It’s hard but we are all here in the same boat rowing upstream and we know how it feels.
Love and best wishes from the cold Dolomites.
xxx
Lovely dog, Hyland Terriers are so cute looking.
Hi Jules,
So lovey to see you posting.
Yes me too. I wish I could have coffee with my mum.
Today has been tough to get through.i have cried a lot over lots of things that triggered me. It’s been a very odd Christmas day.
I went through the motions and did everything I had to do but seeing Glyn shed tears just finished me off. All over a plastic money bag that he remembered as a child counting money and arguing with my mum how much went into each one. Omg that was enough to start us all off. Then Glyn had videos on his phone of past Christmas 's and she was so funny but it brought it all back. I had to lighten the mood quickly.
I can honestly say I haven’t enjoyed anything about today. Nothing comes close to how our Christmas days used to be and I have really really tried.
Anyway I hope things have been better for everyone else.
Am going away to Glyn’s s new flat in Fri for a few days to decorate it so I think that may do me the world of good.
Love to you all girls x
Deb x