It’s almost 3 months since that call, the one that told us you had gone.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you, that I don’t miss you, that I don’t want to talk to you about something. The number of times I’ve stood up to go into your room to share something funny that’s popped into my head is too high to count, only to remember that you’re not there and to be knocked flat
by the pain again.
I miss you so much Mum, the waves of pain are slowly getting further apart but they are no less painful than they were on day one. I know you’re not coming back but there is a small part of me that is still stamping her feet and screaming because it’s the only thing she wants.
I listened to your song yesterday, the one we chose for your funeral because you told me years ago you wanted it played - “to stick a middle finger up at everyone”. It made me feel close to you, it made me feel like you were sitting next to me, but when I tried that today it just made me cry because you’re not here anymore.
Love you Mum, every time I say this, I can almost hear you say “Love you more”. xxx