I am reeling from loss of three people in my life, two of them were my older brother at 60 years, my younger brother at 55 years and my very dear cousin who was more like a sister and best friend for all my life since high school at 59. My brothers passed in February 2023 and this past Sunday November 12, both were cardiac related. My older brother had had a-fib since his mid twenties, younger brother woke up with horrible pain in his back and went straight to emergency room. Monitors and testing showed nothing yet he was gone in a little over an hour later. Cousin had been battling stomach cancer for a little over a year. I’ve been worried sick myself since having a bout of covid-19 in October 23 and developed an arrhythmia two weeks after recovering. Feeling like doctors refuse to listen to me and that I’m next. I don’t wish to die but have been feeling like it would be a relief from this constant state of sadness, depression, and feeling like I’m on the verge of sobbing uncontrollably every day minute by minute. I’ve tried every trick that my therapists have given me from past experience with depression and nothing makes this any less painful. Any advice on what might help me cope and accept these losses. I’ve already reached out to my physician and let him know that I’m not going to wait for that pain that I’ve already felt in my back to take me out and get on the ball with anything that can help me mitigate these issues
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
You have my deepest sympathy, I can imagine that you must be feeling very vulnerable and I’m not sure that anything I can say will make you feel any better. However, we are always here if you need to sound off and just need someone to chat to. You don’t say if you’re married or with a partner but I really hope you have someone who you can lean on in these difficult days
Thank you, I have a partner and good friend who both live with me as I’ve been struggling for quite a while with several issues relating to health and mobility. I appreciate the kind words of support and you are correct it is very difficult and vulnerable is exactly what I’m feeling most often