My mum passed away 4 weeks ago. We had lived together 60 years. Like you, I currently cannot see my grief subsiding any time soon. Days, months and years.
Also, I also feel guilty at lots of things. For instance. Me and mam always watched and enjoyed Home and Away. I still watch it, but feel guilty that what I am seeing, mam will never see. Watching a programme we used to watch together and then I might chuckle at a joke or line in it. I feel guilty for laughing when mam cannot, so I totally understand how you are feeling because I feel the same way as you. God bless and sending you all my best wishes. Stephen
Im so sorry Stephen for your loss. I cant even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. Its so so hard. I dont want to plan anything or look forward to doing something. Like you, I don’t think I should, as my poor brother can’t. It feels selfish and wrong. Almost like, if I do enjoy it, it proves that I don’tlove or miss him enough. Sending you hugs and my condolences too x
Thank you for your reply. It is really difficult and thinking about it, your love for your brother, as I have for my mam, is so immense that even thinking about doing things without them being at our side is a supremely difficult task. I once read the following and I think it is true. The deeper the love, the deeper the grief. God bless. Feel free to keep when the occasion arises. God bless. Stephen
Hi Emma, it sounds to me that you will never forget your brother. I don’t think you should feel guilty for living though as I’m sure if you had your brother Infront of you it would be the last thing in the world he would want from you. Would it not be better to carry him with you on your journey through life. As if he’s on your shoulder enjoying the ride. He sounds like an amazing person and I’m sure he wants the best for you .
Wishing you peace and strength
All the best
Tom
Thank you for your kind, thoughtful words. Its still very early days, so everything feels so raw. It will be the first of everything this year, which makes it so distressing and heart wrenching. It will be his first birthday without him, Easter, Father’s Day, Xmas etc. I visit his graveside at least 3 times a week. Either just crying or telling him how much I love and miss him. Its so hard. I wish it was me that was taken and nor him. God knows how I will cope when I lose my parents. That will tip me over the edge.
Im so sorry for your loss too. Lots of love and hugs xx
Thank you, that came in an email from Sue Rider at a time when I really need it.
My husband died 5 months ago and I’m really missing him. The last couple of weeks I’ve felt as bad as I have ever felt. I asked him this morning to send me a sign that he hears me. This feels like that sign. Thank you so much.
Hi Allio, I’m really sorry you are suffering so much at the moment. Sometimes you can be feeling ok and then this darkness seems to roll in and before you know it everything is pain and tears again. I’m glad that you have found this site as it really helps to be able to express your feelings and have people who know exactly how you are feeling listening and helping. My wife died of bile duct cancer, it seems like so many of us here have gone through our loved ones cancer journey. It’s such horrible disease. I hope you find some solace and peace
Wishing you all the best
Tom
I absolutely love this & i choose to believe it’s true as it helps my desperate need to have not lost my connection with Andrew. We were together for too long for him not to be with me in spirit as well as in my heart. I talk to him all the time & hope that he hears me. This journey is so hard I’ll take any belief that helps.
Thank you so much for replying and I’m sorry for your loss.
My husband also died of cancer. He lived with stage 4 bowel cancer for 3 and a half years and he was such an optimist. He always said he would beat it, but in the end he couldn’t. We had been married for nearly 40 years and he was my soul mate. I try to practice gratitude for the fact that I met him and that we were very happy but it is hard sometimes. I’m very grateful that we got to say the things that we wanted to say to each other and that I got to say goodbye.
Hi Allio, my wife and I would have been married 40 years this March gone. I saw her walking down a street in London and she stole my heart that very moment. I followed her to her home in Spain and have been here ever since. I think it helps a lot to concentrate on how fortunate I have been to be loved by such a lovely person. It doesn’t stop me from missing her though.
I hope you find some peace
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Yes definitely I do. Well I hope so…. I like to believe we are, but I’m just so confused about the whole thing. I ask him every day for signs, or to let me know he’s still with me, but, nothing.
@Wilson9
I think my soulmate is still very much with me. It isn’t a question of her leaving signs for me but my ability to detect the signs that will always be there.
I recently read an article about a Stanford Neuroscientist who now firmly believes that consciousness isn’t generated by the brain but more likely received by it, much like a radio tuning in to signals broadcast from elsewhere. If this is true, we are not separated from our loved ones but still with them, just distracted by the virtual reality of life on earth.
If we could look beyond the distraction perhaps a whole new world would be open to us.
The soul tries to send you peace, real peace; the kind that settles into your bones. This isn’t the peace that wipes away grief; grief is natural, sacred, necessary. It isn’t the peace that makes you move on; souls do not want the living to forget them. No, the peace the soul tries to give is something far deeper. It’s the knowledge that you are still connected, still loved and still seen. The soul has no voice so, it sends this peace through dreams, thoughts, synchronicity and subtle waves of energy. Gentle impressions that whisper, I am safe, I am free, I understand everything now and I am closer to you than I ever was before. You just need to be able to tune in to the signals.
I went out for a walk yesterday and I noticed so many white feathers all along the route I took. I feel that was a sign as well, as I’ve never noticed anything like it before.
Hi Allio, I spend a lot of time walking in nature and looking for lovely things to share with my wife. When the sun comes out from behind a cloud and warms my cheek it’s like a little kiss or baby birds singing for the first time makes me think of my sweet thing.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
OMG, i had a hard time reading as tears were continuously flowing down my cheeks and all over. Even after more than 2.5 years since my wife left, I felt her today while reading it, Whatever Cayce has mentioned is very very true. I have felt and experienced it whenever I have cried at any time of the day, any place of the earth and with anyone around me. This is so surreal. Thanks for sharing and I am reading this for the first time. Love you @Wilson9 so much for sharing.
Thank you so much for your comforting post.”tuning in” i find so difficult, trying to clear my mind of worries, stress and everyday things as well as my grief.i have read books on energy, spirit, vibrations etc but find it so hard to make that “connection’.Take care.
