I find Wilson9 posts fascinating too.I was interested that your mum was spiritual.I think there is more to this life on earth than we are aware of.i think there must be a ‘Bigger picture”.Since losing my dear wife over a year ago things have happened, not huge revealing dreams or visions but subtle “Signs”or flickering lights, sometimes when i am really having a bad day especially around bedtime/evening.I have often read we all have a guardian angel guiding us and helping us.There is so much beauty in the world we inhabit as in nature, i often just look through our kitchen window watching the birds, that often brings tears though as my dear wife loved her garden and nature.The world we live in is often so cruel and harsh yet within nature we can find some pleasure and comfort.Nothing will or can replace our dear loved ones from being with us but i like to believe that their love remains within our hearts and always will and our love for them will always be with them too.I believe love is eternal.Take care.
@brummy
My mums farther my grandad was spiritual, when he passed away it passed to my mum . She had the ability to know things before they happened. When I was a child and my step grandma passed away . This was way before the internet and mobile phones. Her step mum came to her to say goodbye. The following day mum got a telegram to say she had died . That is just one example After mum passed away my self and my sisters experience certain things . Part of it frightens me , so I don’t pursue it . I do however believe we have something guiding through out our life’s . Call it a guardian angel if you like .
I intended to post this in a new conversation but, having thought about it, I came to the conclusion that it was appropriate to this thread.
There were three instances, in the first year after my wife’s death, when I had this thought. It always popped into my head unannounced and without me consciously thinking about it. It just said, “You need to let me go.” Interestingly, it was not framed as “I need to let HER go” but “YOU need to let ME go”. I dismissed the thought each time it appeared. She was the love of my life and there’s no way I was going to let her go. As the first year came to an end, I began to wonder if I might have misunderstood the message. What if she was trying to tell me that I need to let go of her physical form and the life we had together because they no longer exist and clinging to them will only cause me unnecessary suffering? What if she was trying to tell me that I need to let go of what she was and learn to live with what she has become?
This is what prompted my interest in spiritualism and the possibility or probability that the consciousness of our loved ones continues to exist in the afterlife. And the more I look into this, the more I’m inclined to believe it.
@Wilson9
It was the same with me.
My wife was always fearful after her mother had suddenly died from a heart attack. She said many times that if the same thing happened to her I should dial 999. When my wife collapsed I kept my promise and the paramedics miraculously arrived within a few minutes, I still don’t know how they got to us so quickly.
While I was administering CPR a strange calmness came over me, something told me that I should really let her go.
The paramedics took over and after about 20 minutes they managed to get a pulse and rushed her to hospital.
The next day her doctors told me they were loosing the battle and recommended withdrawing life support. As I sat with her for the final hours she was clearly telling me it was the right decision.
Since then I’m sure her spirit has been with me. I felt she was at my shoulder during her funeral and when her ashes were scattered. I ask her advice all the time and an idea often comes into my mind that provides a solution to a problem.
Thank you so much for your post.What you say is really intersting.It is so true about letting go of the physical form.I loved my dear wife with all my heart and the suddeness and unexpectedness of losing her here at home has torn me apart.Watching the paramedics doing CPR on her here in the living room.They tried their best but they couldnt save her.I often have flashbacks to that awful sunday afternoon.I keep blaming myself for not ringing 999 earlier.I suppose guilt is all part of the grief process, full of what ifs, if onlys but nothing will bring her back.her physical life has ended.I “talk” to her alot.I have become intersted in spiritulism since she passed.i have read various books on spirit, heaven, the afterlife.I have never been deeply religious but we did go to church but not often.its strange but i think since my dear wife passed i have spent more time in churches.The village wher i live my wife is in the churchyard, the church is so quiet and peaceful.when i visit my wifes grave i always get upset and have to go in the church to calm down.Luckily the church is open during daytime.Thank you again for your posts, i always look forward to reading them.Take care.
Please keep posting your spiritual thoughts @Wilson9
I love reading them, and it makes me feel less alone as I have subscribed to the same beliefs for a long time, it’s what is helping me to navigate all the losses
Even the profile picture I use is an esoteric one, it’s because me and my family named a star with the names for each parent after they passed, in the constellation of Scorpio. Their birthdays were 2 days apart, their passing dates were 4 months apart.
Having read through a lot of the comments on this thread, I suddenly remembered the Netflix series that I watched about five years ago called Surviving Death. I have just rewatched it and I would recommend it to anyone who is grieving. It has helped me a lot and made me feel sure that death isn’t the end of the story.
Theres also a book Surviving Death by Leslie Kean which is what the Netflix series is based on if you’re interested. I read it shortly after losing my Mum as I was really questioning what I believed.
Thank you all for your interesting posts. Here are some interesting spiritual stories and observations that might interest you.
A woman, who lost her husband, described her journey. “For two years after his death, I visited his grave daily often spending hours talking to him and weeping. One day, I clearly heard his voice in my mind saying, I’m not here love; I’m everywhere now. That moment changed everything. I still miss him terribly, but my grief has transformed into something lighter that doesn’t keep either of us trapped.”
A father shared his experience following the loss of his son. “Six months after the accident, I was still unable to function. I’d lost my job, rarely left the house and spent most days in his room. One night I dreamed of him standing in a beautiful garden. He looked healthy and at peace, but he said, Dad, you must let me go now; your pain is like a rope pulling me back. I woke up with a profound understanding that my grief was affecting him, not just me.”
A woman who found healing, after losing her mother, described it beautifully. “I still cry sometimes but the tears are different now. They’re not the desperate tears of someone trying to hold on to what’s gone, but the grateful tears of someone blessed to have loved so deeply. Somehow, I know my mother sees this change and that it brings her peace.”
In this transformation lies the deepest truth about what the dead see when we cry for them and what they hope to eventually see. Not our endless suffering but our gradual healing. Not our determination to remain broken in their absence but our courage to live fully because they once showed us how to love. This is perhaps their greatest wish for us. That the love we shared becomes not a source of permanent anguish, but a foundation for continued growth, meaning and joy. In this way, we honour them most truly, allowing both their souls and our hearts the freedom to continue their respective journeys connected always by love, but not bound by unresolved pain.
A grief counsellor who incorporates spiritual perspectives explained. “The healthiest resolution isn’t forgetting or moving on as our culture often suggests. It’s transforming the relationship from one of physical presence to spiritual connection.”
Thanks for posting @brummy. A few more thoughts for you to consider.
Do we still love the physical form of our departed loved ones or do we love the essence of who they are?
Are we clinging to memories of a physical form that ended when we could be thinking about the essence of love, kindness, gentleness, patience, calmness, thoughtfulness, selflessness, humility, humour, positivity and determination that endures?
Do we spend too much time thinking about the past and imagining what might have been in the future while ignoring the essence of our loved ones that continues in the present?
I think we do spend a lot of time in the past because for me it’s only been 9 months & Andrew was everything I did & everything I was, it’s too much to let go of at the moment. My life is now quiet & empty & I really hate it. I can’t find anything to fill the space he took up in my being
I do agree with you. It has only been 6 weeks since mam passed and we were together 60 years.
I totally agree also with the spiritual aspect, but like you currently I am living day to day on memories of mam in the house we lived in and the life we shared together. Best wishes. Stephen.
Thanks for posting @Smythe. I’m not suggesting that we should let go of our loved ones. Quite the opposite. I’m suggesting that we can learn to transform the relationship we had from one of physical presence to spiritual connection.
My explorations over the last 2.5 years have led me to a similar conclusion, that our connection remains but on a spiritual level. But letting go of the physical connection to our loved ones is easier said than done! We are still residing in a physical body and our physical senses form such a huge part of how we make sense of this world, and also how the memories of our loved ones have been created and stored. So the desire to hug our loved ones, to see their smile, to hear their laugh, to smell their perfume, they are all anchors to our memories of that person. I meditate regularly and i talk to my parents (who are both passed) every day, but sadly have zero sense of their presence. I think for me thats the most heartbreaking thing - I used to be able to jump in the car, or pick up the phone and have instant access to my loved ones. Now im told (and hope) they are all around me, but it feels like a one way conversation.
Hello, my husband passed away 6weeks ago, its one of the most heartbreaking moment I have ever experienced we were married for 35 years, im still not quite 60, I miss him so much, I still send messages to his phone, I still have his coffee cup ready, I talk to him. I play our favorite music and I ask him if he wants to dance. I’m not crazy, just really missing my honey buns.
Hello. I am still doing the same for my mam. She passed away 6 weeks ago. We lived together 60 years.
I talk to mam all the time. In her chair where she sat i have put a framed photograph of her in that chair.
I set her place at the dining table dinner and tea as we always did. I spray her favourite perfume around the house and on her chair. Plus other things.
Some people might think I am.daft but it helps a little bit.
God bless and sending you all my best wishes. Stephen.
we were married for 35 years, im still not quite 60, I miss him so much, I still send messages to his phone, I still have his coffee cup ready, I talk to him. I play our favorite music and I ask him if he wants to dance. I’m not crazy, just really missing my honey buns.
