Death of a family member

I am absolutely heartbroken, I lost my dad to sepsis just yesterday. I honestly just can’t believe I don’t have a dad anymore, there’s just no way to put it into words. I am dreading the funeral, because it just seems like everything, from jewellery to specific songs reminds me of him. And I just start crying all over again. Please tell me that this awful pain, and what feels like a hole in my life, goes away or at least gets better because I’m just going from just functioning to being so down I just cannot stop crying or screaming or begging to bring him back. It was so sudden and he was a healthy young man, it’s just completely and utterly shocking.

Hi Jaycee, I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your Dad and you’re in so much pain at the moment. Losing a parent is difficult enough, when it’s so sudden it can be especially shocking. My heart goes out to you.

It does get better, it takes time and you learn to live with a different sense of what ‘normal’ is. Grief takes time and you can go through a huge number of different emotions. Expressing your emotions is very important so if you want to cry or scream then go right ahead.

When my Mum died I found that at the beginning it seemed almost everything reminded me of her & made me cry. I had to exit the Marks and Spencer food section at Christmas because all the party food, which she loved, just made me start sobbing. In time I was able to start thinking of her & remembering all the happy times.

Try to be kind to yourself and not expect too much from yourself at the moment when you’re in shock.

Keep talking to us on here and take care. Trudy x

Hi Jaycee,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your dad just this week. It sounds very sudden, which must be extremely difficult for you. What you’re experiencing is normal, as hard as that sounds, and in this community you’re surrounded by people who understand exactly what you’re going through. It’s important as this very early stage to take care of yourself and do what feels right for you - there is not one way to grieve, it’s a very personal experience, so move forwards at your own pace and take things one step at a time.

As Trudy says, scream, shout, and cry for as long as you need. We’ll be here to listen and support you.

Take care and let me know if there’s anything I can do for you

Eleanor

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