This is one of the first experiences I’ve talked about my horrible experience with the loss of my mother, sister, home, and my own father after 4 years. My life was turned upside down once my mother passed away when I was only aged 11 years old and my sister who was 1. We all just moved to a new home a fresh start with my mothers partner who she’s been with for 5 happy years. Everything was perfect a new home, a beautiful little sister, it was everything I dreamed of until a few months after my mam died. I had to move homes be separated from my little sister and my only decent father I’ve ever had because my real father has always been useless. Over the past few years after my mother’s death my blood related father has done nothing but put me through hell, he would black mail me all the time and say disgusting stuff about my dead mother he would manage to make me cry every time I spoke to him. I always know that nothing can ever hurt me as much as loosing my mother but he certainly tried to have the best try. We would go about a year without contact and then he would always try to interfere and make all these promises on how we can sort it and that I’m his baby girl and he loves me. But then he would start an argument over money or anything he could just to upset me, well that’s what it felt like. I just wish he would leave me carry on with my life as hard as it is without my parents. I’ve blocked him off everything but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I’m not sure if any of you have had a similar experience to me but any advice would be well appreciated.
Hi George1602,
I am very sorry to hear about all you’ve been through since your mother passed away when you were only 11 years old. That’s such a young age to come to terms with such a significant loss and it sounds as though you’ve had some really distressing experiences in the time since then.
Only you can know what the right thing to do is with your dad. If you feel better having blocked him, then that’s the most important thing.
Do you have a close friend or someone that you can talk to about how you’re feeling at the moment? It’s important to share how you’re feeling with someone you trust. If there’s no one you feel able to talk to, perhaps you could get some advice from your GP about local services in your area.
There was another conversation here recently about managing family conflict following a bereavement, which you can read here:
https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-bereavement/family-conflict-while-trying-grieve
Take good care of yourself and let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.
Eleanor