My brother dave had a horrible job he was a gravedigger. He had a partner and 3 kids.he couldn’t leave job as home came with the job.any our dad died a year and a half ago and it hit us both really hard that’s the first person we have lost that’s so close.dave was always a drinker but he got worse after dad died as did I.he gave up the job his partner got a house from the council and dave came to live with me.his partner said he cud move in with her wen he gave up the drink.she would have a go at him saying he doesn’t love them cos he can’t give it up.then blocked him.no contact nothing.anyway cut a long story short I tried to only give him a certain amount of beers a day but it didn’t work.we wud argue as I was trying to help him but I didn’t no how.wen I was at work all day I made him walk to shop to get his beers.anyway he collapsed in my kitchen and vomited huge amounts of blood I called an ambulance and was on life support for 6 days then they switched it off as couldn’t do anything more for him.he died on 6th of May this year.im devastated I wish I could have done more for him I feel so horrible making him walk to shop and for the rows he knew I loved him as I always told him luv Jo xxxc
Hi, what a sad story you tell and becoming a alcoholic after bereavement is something that does happen. If we are serious about bereavement it is not a surprise and you should not feel guilty, it is not something we can deal with. Counsellors train so they can help people like your bother and it’s not easy to stop drinking, even just beer. He must have had other conditions that lead to his death so again please don’t feel guilty. Now you need to think about your own health and whether going to counselling would help you to see your future in a better light. Both Sue Ryder and Cruse offer free sessions and it may be the time for you to think about yourself. Stay safe and look after yourself. S xx
Thank you I need counselling rung my doc for counselling when my dad died I’m still on the waiting list .I will book up with sue ryder or cruse I didn’t know that was available free as struggling with money as single parent thank you luv Jo xxxx
Hi, yes please do. From what I know it does take time getting help from your GP but both organisations will take you after 8-12 weeks after the bereavement and do around 6 sessions more if needed and they both have fully trained counsellors.
There a Sue Ryder page regarding benefits and also citizens advice plus local organisations that can help with financial affairs just to get help and advise sometimes getting over the first few months is helpful.
We are always here for you and we all know what bereavement is like so please keep posting and reading others post who are in the same position helps. Take care Sxxx
https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/terminal-illness-information/planning-for-the-future.