I suddenly lost my dad a few weeks, he was only in his early 50’s and died suddenly. People say it will get easier but I don’t see how it ever will or how my life will get back to normal. I have a huge support system but still feel so alone even though I’m not the only one grieving.
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Totally resonates with me. I lost my Mum suddenly in October last year…Almost 4 months on, I can’t say it get’s easier. It’s about adjusting to a ‘new’ normal…It very tough though and still have very dark days. You’re very early in your grief so please be patient and kind to yourself. Don’t push or force anything; You are not alone (even though it may feel like it)
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Sorry to hear of both of your losses and after losing my mum in Dec I hate this ‘new normal’. My anxiety is through the roof and can’t focus on anything.
Don’t know if it’s the weather, time of year etc but there’s a lot of people here seem to be having more bad days just now. Positive thing though is that we are all here for each other to help us all through the good and bad.
Take care everyone,
Suzanne x
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Hi Amy16
I lost my dad to a sudden heat attack in his early 50s.
It will be 24 years in August and I can tell you that things will and do get better. You will never get over the loss and you will always be sad, but you will get used to life without him.
However, it will take a long time so be prepared for that. I’m 2 and a half years in from the loss of my mum and what keeps me going is knowing that things will get easier.
I get through by keeping busy, working, trying to enjoy little things in life like a good tv drama or book. Also exercise helps.
Like I said, this won’t be easy and there are lots of bad times to get through but eventually there will be light at the end of the tunnel
Cheryl
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Lost my mom to a cardiac arrest three weeks ago.
I don’t like this new life anymore. It’s unfair and wrong to lose your mom or dad so early in your life. I’m going crazy.
All I want is my mom.
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It’s totally unfair MummasDaughter
It feels like a cruel world right now with very little light. I lost my Mum to a heart attack 4 months ago and it’s still very tough.
A day doesn’t go by without my crying and wishing it was all a bad nightmare.
I hate this ‘new normal’
I too just want my Mum X
You’re not alone here…even though it might feel like it
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Thank you markbton. It’s only three weeks and so painful for me. It is worst than worst possible physical pain I have ever had. I can totally see me not getting better in 4 months either. Heart attacks/cardiac arrest are so sudden. There is this big shock and then the sadness. My most important person was taken from me. In an instant everything got changed and I know same happened to you.
Mumma had so much life left. She took care of her health. She deserved to live a long life. 58 is not the age to go!
I am broken. I cried for hours last night.
So sorry for your loss. We are in the same boat and it feels like the water is coming in and we are drowning.
I can relate. I lost my Dad last August. My Mum had fallen down the stairs in June and broken her ankle, 2 weeks later my Dad became very weary very quickly which we thought was running around after Mum. He had bloods taken and 24 hrs later a shock diagnosis of leukaemia. Hospital admission and the haematologist said “this is as serious as it gets”. He was on drips, oxygen, blood transfusions. Had 2 vasovegal episodes (fainting but unable to recover without help due to low immunity), both of which happened in front of me and were horrific to witness. He spent his 70th birthday in hospital (the day the vasovegals happened). He was given 6 months, developed neutrapenic sepsis, spent 3 weeks in hospital and then 3 days end of life care at home. He died 4 weeks after diagnosis.
I have 4 children aged 3, 5, 11 & 13 (at the time) and I thought my grief was just enough to cripple me until it started in my kids. That is unbearable to watch. How do you explain that to a 3 and 5 year old. They both receive counselling in school/nursery. I can’t talk to them, they have so many questions, I get upset then they do and they don’t want to upset me so it becomes difficult. We talk about the good things though. The funny stories. I have held it all in to keep everything going and it’s now affecting me physically.
My Dad was a very fit man, played golf the week before the diagnosis. Life is never the same and sometimes I feel like I’m on the outside of it watching it happen.
This is my first post, I’m sorry it’s so long. But yes drowning is most certainly the word. X
Hi,
Im sorry to read about the sudden loss of your dad and the worry of seeing the impact that it has upon your children.
I completely understand. My mum who was very fit and active lived with my daughter and I. My daughter has little to do with her dad so my mum was like a second parent and brought my daughter up with me.
In June 2019, my mum suffered a sudden catastrophic bleed on the brain and died almost instantly.
It’s coming up to 3 years but my daughter who was 12 at the time, and has recently turned 15 still struggles terribly.
She broke down in tears just yesterday because we were going through her clothes and I suggested getting rid of a dress that my mum bought for her years ago and is way too small and out of fashion.
I don’t think we realise the impact on them as they spend time on their phones and social media and laugh with their friends, but deep down the pain of what they have lost, is very much there still.
Only the passing of time is really helping. Life will never be the same.
Cheryl
I’m sorry about your Mum and that your daughter is struggling with it. It’s breaking isn’t it.
I am so worried and anxious about my girls losing me and going through it again that I think I make myself ill. I have aches in my body (sides at minute), body is skipping periods (just to be kind to me!) and all in the last 4 months. It’s hit me harder since Xmas although that was 4 months since at that point. I had no idea how physical it could be but it is.
Michelle