Death of Facebook friends

How do we deal with that?

I have several dear close friends I have never met in person. We message almost daily and have exchanged thoughts for years. We have helped each other through pretty hard times.

I heard one such friend has died. It is such a private grief but he was dear to me. He lived alone, a widower, he and I spoke of many things and cheered each other up. I shall miss him so much.


Dear @Rachel50

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Grief is a rollercoaster ride of emotions and there will be good days and bad days. You need to take one day at time, grief is a journey and not a race. I would like to share a few resources which may be of help and comfort to you at this time.

I do hope the above information will be of help and support to you, please continue to reach out, you are not alone.

Take Care.


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Aww Rachel I am so sorry. Like you I have a few facebook friends and online friends through the cancer macmillan site that i have messaged for years but never met Two are in their 80’s and i know the day will come when they pass and goodness knows how i will deal with it. They also live in New Zealand so I know I will never meet them.
I am just wondering what words I try to find to say to you. The fact he communicated online with you must have brought him so much joy as an elderly person living alone. And you also had shared such a lot with him. I often think some of my online friends who I have never met are my bestest buddies as they naturally seem to understand me . Share some of the wonderful memories you had with him on here if you like . That way it may help you . Will look out for you in a few days as my own grief is so awful at the mo
Deborah x

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Actually it is a point, I feel far closer to online friends whom I have never met than to anyone in person. I nurture only a handful of such friendships and we exchange thoughts almost daily. This keeps us going, we talk of life under covid, books we are reading, health ailments. It is so important to us, to safely express ourselves.

Friendship has evolved into many different forms in this age of communication on the internet. I believe all friendship is valid and valuable. I like reaching out - these are all threads of humanity, of love and caring. Like we do on here, we are just fellow souls who need company and understanding. We are not created to be alone.

My friend lived in another country. He was funny, sensitive, he was a sweet soul. He was of similar religious views and liked similar books. We had rich material to talk about . I felt close to him and value his memory as long as I live . I am so sad that he has gone.

What happens to people’s Facebook page if they lived alone? Does it get closed eventually by an executor ? He was very active on FB, it is a diary really.

Hi Rachel
Thank you for replying. It’s another day of feeling down for me. The pain of grief this morning is so intense.
I am not sure what happens to facebook pages once a person has passed. My brother in law passed 7 yrs ago and even the family cannot close his page . For some reason only the actual person can do that but it’s obvious that can never happen. I read somewhere that there are lots of people on facebook that have passed away. So sad really if that is the case.
What a truly wonderful friend you had. He sounded such a loyal understanding friend. The perfect buddy!
My friends in New Zealand have been amazing online. I first met the man after we shared messages after both of us had bowel cancer then we decided to email each other and both he and his wife send me emails quite a few times each week. They are well into their 80’s so we know we will never meet but I feel as though I know them so well. We ramble on about gardening, the weather, where they have been to, my family as they are just the two of them, my mum etc. They have been wonderful since my mum passed as During the night I have been able to email them knowing it’s daytime there with them so they always reply straight away because they know I am struggling so much. We exchange photos so I know so much about them and they have sent me wonderful photos of their local area with wildlife living naturally there.
I used to be a teacher and they were both teachers in England when they were younger but emigrated to New Zealand many many years ago so we exchange stories about school days. Quite funny at times. I live in Wales so many of the places where they used to live are near where my sister lives so I am familiar with some of the places they visited and worked at when they lived in the UK. They have even started watching the Welsh rugby as I go on and on about the matches so much.
It is so funny to have photos sent to me from them that show some flowers growing in their garden that only grow with us in the summer but of course it’s so hot over there.
We shared so much during COVID and how we were managing to get through it. It seemed to hit New Zealand a longer time after us so they were well prepared in dealing with it after what I told them what we had gone through. Not that I knew everything but they did more online shopping etc before all the slots were gone.
Anyway I just wanted to touch base with you to show I cared and to say I am here for you whenever you feel like writing. Deborah x

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