How do I deal with it I’ve been drinking heavily and taking drugs to deal with it I no it’s the wrong thing to do but I just can’t process what has happened
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Hi @Craig125
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through an incredibly tough and testing time. Well done for reaching out here for support - that’s requires incredible strength. Have you thought about some counseling? Your GP will be able to help with that. It’s an incredible stressful and difficult time I get that - I’ve lost both parents within 11 months of each other - try not to sabotage yourself during this process - I know that sounds easier said than done. It will make you feel worse I promise you that. If you have people to lean on family and friends please reach out to them. Talking through stuff is incredibly important. You’re not alone in all of this I promise you that. Take care of yourself and sending hugs.
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Hello @Craig125,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. I know that grief can be so painful to cope with. But it’s important that you reach out for support with this; you matter and you don’t have to do this alone. @Trees6 has given some great advice - I just wanted to share a few links you might want to look at.
- The NHS website has a guide on getting support with alcohol issues.
- Alcohol Change offers support to people who are experiencing issues with alcohol.
- Drinkline is a free, confidential helpline for people who are concerned about their drinking, or someone else’s. Call 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am–8pm, weekends 11am–4pm)
- The NHS website has a guide on getting help with drug addiction.
- Turning Point also offers support, including Peer Mentoring, to people who are having drug or alcohol misuse problems.
The Samaritans are also always there for you, day or night, on 116 123.
Please do reach out for further support - you are important and deserve help.
Take good care,
Seaneen
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Oh Craig, I’m so sorry. I won’t give the practical advice as the other replies have that covered.
You know the drink & drugs aren’t the answer as you said, so kudos for saying that out loud. 
In these early days you must be kind to yourself. If you were looking out for a friend going through the same situation, what would you tell them? Tell yourself those things.
That sick, nervous feeling that constantly washes over you will fade with time and the only way to shake it is to sit with those feelings- be sad, cry, listen to mum’s music. But it’s also important to keep going from those “sitting with it” moments to remembering happy times with your mum. As those stinging, nervous feelings start to fade, you’ll be left with the happier memories.
As well as here, The Good Grief Trust has some very helpful videos and links on their website.
You will move on to a better frame of mind to deal with this, so please be kind to yourself in these early days. You will get there. 
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Last time i was in crisis i found Andys Man Club useful as like minded men gather and let their feelings out or say nothing and listen to others.
Lots of groups across the country meet every Monday apart from bank hols. No quick solutions but a safe space .
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