Death of my children’s Dad

Hi, 4 weeks ago my children aged 19 and 13 lost their Dad in a tragic car accident. We separated 10 years ago but they both saw their Dad 2/3 times per week and had an amazing relationship with him.
The pain they are both feeling is unimaginable and as their mum I feel so guilty because no matter what I do I can’t take any of their pain away. It’s heartbreaking.
I will do all I can to make sure his memory lives on, I will talk to my children about memories of their Dad regularly.
My son who is 13 wants to know exactly what happened with regards to the accident. He says he won’t rest until he knows exactly what caused his Dads death.
If anyone has any advice with regards to this it would be appreciated because obviously the details would be too graphic and I don’t want to cause him anymore distress.
Thank you.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. My boys are 13 and 15 and my husband/their dad doesn’t have long to live. Currently sat here waiting for an ambulance. It’s heartbreaking as a mum not being able to take the pain away.
It’s really hard as kids often need to know the truth (if they can cope with it) otherwise they will make something up anyway and won’t be able to process it.
The charity Winstons wish may be able to help. Also try and get some counselling for them if they I’ll accept it (I have one that will and one that won’t) xx


Thank you for taking the time to reply, when you are already dealing with something unimaginable yourself. I am so sorry that you and your family are going through what you are, this world is so cruel.
I think maybe honesty will benefit my son, but not with too many intricate details. If he says he wants to know then I can’t seeing him changing his mind. Thank you for your advice, I will look into therapy for them both.
Sending you and your family love and strength.

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