I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer 5 years ago, she was 52. I was 34 turning 35 (had me young). I was so close to mum. She left behind two grandchildren that she idolised. Ive never grieved for her, i didnt cry at her funeral 
My mum was my best friend. I think of her every single day but i can’t allow myself to feel her loss. Since she died i just go on about my life and do what i need to do but im empty.
2 Likes
@Puglove perhaps seeking some counselling might help? Five years is a long time to repress all the feelings of grief for a beloved Mum. After the loss of my Mum I did a lot of research on grief because it’s so complicated and personal. I wanted to understand everything I was going through. Just being on here and connecting with others who are trying to manage grief is helpful because it stops me feeling isolated. Sending best wishes xx
Hi Pug love,
I agree with Rosiepinks post. I too googled a lot do I could understand what i was going through so i could understand better the different stages of grief. Nothing prepares you for it so I needed to find out as much as I could
What I would say is there is no right or wrong way or time limit on anything. The fact you are on here posting shows you are grieving and it’s affecting you so carry on posting bec communicating with others can only help.
You have to carry on for the sake of your children but yes there are parts of your life that are empty and always will be. It’s like having lots of boxes and some are open and some shit tight. I have realised my way of dealing with the loss of my lovely mum is to talk about her and that way I involve her in all aspects of my life. I know she is with me even though I can’t see her.
Feeling empty is normal in my opinion as it shows the deep love you had for your mum. The emptiness is like a golden thread that bonds the two of you together.
Keep posting ok and gain support from people on here.
Deborah x
1 Like