I am submitting a complaint for sure and im pleased you are too. I want them to be accountable for their incompetence. My family live about an hour away so not exactly close i wish they were though. Keep watching for little signs your Sister is nearby…well thats what i believe x
The night before her funeral a robin appeared and just wouldn’t go away. The next morning at 7am it was there again. I don’t know whether to believe anything or not I’m in two minds. That’s the only thing that’s happened. Surely there would be more it’s 6 weeks since she left us and we were so close. I bought a rose called kind heart. Put it into a blue pot my sisters favourite colour. I’ve had a plaque made that’s on a metal stake and you push it into the soil. It’s had its first rose and is beautiful just like my sister. I also light a tea light every night and put it in front of her photo. I don’t feel strong tonight I feel lonely and sad. I live about an hour and a half away from my parents and sister. They were only minutes apart. My name is Katrina by the way. Was your sister your big or little sister? X
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Hi Katrina
Sorry for my late reply, ive had a few really bad days especially yesterday, i cried most of the day and like you I feel so sad and lonely too. My Sister was my big Sister and we were very close too she has always looked after me and supported me i miss her so much it hurts. I know we have to move forward and get on with our lives, but im really struggling right now to do that. It is 7 weeks tomorrow since my beautiful Sister passed away and I feel worse each day.
I do believe our loved ones are around us, i haven’t had any signs just strange/funny things keep happening and i talk to her all the time and ask her if that was her. They say Robins are a sign our loved ones are near i was chatting to my neighbour and one was sat on the gatepost behind me. Your Sister will be around you for sure, the bond you have as sisters is unbreakable.
Take care of you
Andrea x
Hello how are things for you now? I’ve been feeling quite sad and low and had a total
breakdown Saturday night and cried and sobbed and couldn’t stop. Are things any better for me? No they’re not and they never will be again.
I know it’s 7 weeks for you and it’s 7 weeks for me Friday. I talk to my sister all the time in my head and out loud. I let the dogs out last night and a robin appeared. Never seen one here before. It landed for a few seconds and flew off. I said out loud is that you sister.
I’ve cancelled the course the NHS tried to put me on for depression. I explained I only feel like this because my sister has died and if anything I need help understanding grief and need to talk to people going through the same thing.
I hope you’re feeling stronger today. I know time won’t heal anything but I think it might make me learn how to exist alongside what has happened xx
There, you said it…life will never be the same again we are changed forever, thats what i can’t accept. I can’t understand how i can ever be happy again, i feel resentful of people who are when all i have is sadness inside me and pain. I heard from a counsellor that they generally don’t like to see people until around 3 months after your loss, not sure if thats right or not, but i think we both know time isn’t going to heal like you said we just have to learn to live our lives alongside our grief. Take care hun xx
I contacted Sue Ryder they said you have to wait 3 months and I’ve contacted a charity that the NHS recommended called Cruse. I found other places where you can meet up with people in the same situation but I haven’t done anything about that as I really only want to be in contact with people that have lost a sibling.
I envy people that are living their lives with their sisters with them. I just want to see a text message from her saying hi sis how are things? Or her name flash up on my phone because she’s calling. I can’t imagine Christmas without her or a birthday.
It’s unfair that the good ones are taken. Nobody understands that I’ll never live my life the same again. I’ll just exist with a broken heart. I still light a candle in front of her photo every night. Every time she saw me she used to give me yankee candles, wine and jelly babies. I can’t light the last box of yankee tea lights she gave me and I can’t open the jelly babies.
I am miserable and broken hearted. I’m so glad you have contacted me thank you 
xx
I totally understand everything you are saying because these are exactly the same feelings i have. Its so so difficult the pain is overwhelming. I can’t imagine what Christmas or birthdays are going to be like because there is this huge void my Sister was the heart of our family and we will find it hard to celebrate any of those occasions. She asked me to make sure I always look after her daughter which of course I will, she told her that when she gets married I will walk her down the aisle,but she will be right there with us. I don’t know how to move forward some days i feel like I’m losing my mind and I can’t sleep she is all i think about all day and night. Keep lighting the candles hun, keep doing the things that you know will make her smile, she will always be with you, thats what i believe about my Sister xx
I’m not having a good day today and it’s only 11am. I feel really low. I can’t sleep at night so as soon as I sit down in the evening I fall asleep downstairs. I feel drained. How is your niece do you mind me asking how old she is? How is she coping? My sisters husband is leaving all my sisters things in the house he says there’s no reason to move any of them or and need to sort them out. I haven’t been round there since she died and I don’t think I ever will.
When I got up this morning there was a small feather next to the kittens bowl. She eats on the worktop otherwise the dogs eat her food. She doesn’t go outside yet. She went to the vet yesterday to be spayed and I was worried sick all day. I wonder if the feather was my sister saying I told you she’d be ok. I don’t know how it got there.
Forever is a long time to miss someone but that’s what we’re dealing with, forever and time will never ever heal this wound. I feel that people think you’ve had the funeral so now it’s time to get on with things. Maybe I’m wrong but that’s how I feel xx
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Don’t be hard on yourself lovely, the last 2 days for me were awful. I agree with you though, i honestly think other people forget and don’t care once the funeral has taken place the only people that do care are family its not affecting anyone elses lives. I feel like im having a breakdown some days, then other days i am strong. I feel sad all of the time and i don’t ever think i will be happy ever again. The thing is, we can’t change any of it we can’t bring them back and i think you are like me thats all you want is your Sister back.
My niece holds it all in, she is 27. She bought her first home with her boyfriend in January and my Sister was so excited she was looking forward to helping her with everything and going round for lunch etc she didn’t get to do any of that by the time they moved in my Sister was very poorly. Life is sh*t isn’t it?! That white feather was definitely your Sister telling you everything was going to be okay with your kitten.
Your Sisters husband is grieving too hun and men are completely different to us in how they deal with things, he is probably very angry too. I think we have to give ourselves time and cry as much as we need to my Mum thinks i need counselling she is probably right but i just feel no amount of talking is going to make me feel any different.
Try and do something nice for yourself today, sit and cuddle that gorgeous little kitten. My dogs and my cat really help me when I’m having an awful day. Take care of you xx
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I know you’re right we can’t change anything or bring our sisters back. There’s so much I want to tell her. I do talk to her and I did write a lot of things down about a week ago but I miss texting her. Every part of me aches because I miss her so badly
I’m so sorry your sister didn’t get to see her daughter move into her new home. Life just isn’t fair at all. Maybe you could contact some grief counselling websites. I cancelled mine with the NHS after they told me I was depressed and anxious. Like I didn’t know that already!
What will you do for your mums 80th? It’s hard to think about celebrating. I will go to my parents for their birthdays next month. It just won’t be the same without my sister. She’d be arranging it and would always be there first waiting for me to turn up
I’ve been across to the church to light a candle. I usually walk through the graveyard with the dogs so popped in. I feel worse when I’m at home in the mornings. I don’t know why. At least when I’m at work for a small second my mind is on other things then it hits me and I feel awful again. I seem to forget things now. I used to remember everything but sometimes I don’t even know what day it is and when I’m driving I often miss the junction for work or go the wrong way
I hope today is a better one for you. Do you have anywhere to visit your sister? A grave or a plaque at a crematorium? Xx
Morning, i hope today is better for you too. We are going to my Sister’s house today to go through some of her things its so hard to do its as if we are picking through her life, her personal things its not right and its very emotional.
Not sure what we are doing for my Mum’s 80th like you and your Sister we would arrange together.
My Sister was buried and we are going up there later today, last time i was home i went every day. It does help to have somewhere to go and my Sister wanted that for her daughter, but she said she didn’t want it to consume her life. My Mum and Niece go every week. What about you hun? xx
I’ve been at home today. I took the dogs out and felt better for getting out the house. I stupidly looked at some photos of my sister on my phone and felt physically sick that I would never see her again
I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how you must be feeling at your sisters house. I feel like my life stopped on may 15th when my sister collapsed with the brain haemorrhage. It’s 7 weeks tomorrow since she died. She was cremated. I think we’re burying her ashes and having a plaque/memorial. I want to have a piece of jewellery made out of some of them. Maybe a necklace that I can wear all the time and feel close to her. At first when I had the idea I thought it was a horrible thing to do but as the days go by I’ve decided it might make me feel close to her
I hope you are as ok as can be expected after today. When is your sisters birthday that’s another day to try and get through xx
Hi Katrina
Glad to hear you got out for a bit. I’ve had a productive day, but also a lot of tears its so hard looking at all my Sister’s lovely things, clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery etc. It hurts. The house is just bricks and mortar though so its the memories we hold in our hearts that are important and those will last forever.
I know what you mean about photo’s its hard to see them so full of life happy and smiling and then nothing! Its heartbreaking.
My Sisters birthday is November my niece and my Sister’s birthdays are 4 days apart thats going to be so difficult and sad. When is your Sister’s birthday? xx
I can imagine how hard today has been for you. Everything seems so final now the funeral is over and my brother in law will be picking up my sisters ashes
Her birthday is 21 December and her husbands is the 24 December. I never usually saw her on her birthday as it’s close to Christmas and I don’t live local to them
Everyone is saying it’s Friday tomorrow can’t wait for the weekend but I don’t see it as anything to look forward to it’s just another couple of days to get through. The weather doesn’t help though it’s ok here today sunny off and on but the rain is coming and I hate staying in xx
Hi Karina how’re you doing? I had a nice time with my family we went to the cemetery 4 days in a row it definitely helped me. I came back home onMonday I’ve had some awful days where all I’ve done is cry . I start back at work tomorrow, i know its the right thing to do but i am struggling to move forward, i just feel so overwhelmingly sad and a part of my heart has died with my Sister and i will never be the same person again…how can i be?xx
Lovely to hear from you. I’ve been surprisingly ok but I feel the sadness and heartache coming on today. Maybe it’s because I’ve been occupied with work and now I’m off until Monday so will have time to think and remember my sister has gone. 8 weeks tomorrow. I hope work goes ok for you. My first day back was hard with people trying to be nice but I really didn’t want anyone asking if I was ok. Being with your family and visiting your sister probably helped you all feel close again. My sisters ashes are now at my parents so I’m going to visit them next week. I feel drained in every way possible and I’m so tired but I can’t sleep. I don’t really know how we can get through this but I do know it definitely helps to realise that other people are going through exactly the same thing and all these feelings are normal. I hope your day goes ok for you tomorrow xx
Hello Catherine,
I am so sorry you lost your sister.
I lost my brother in February 2022, he had a heart attack. We had a food delivery that day and he picked up the wrong box. It was much too heavy.
I too have a photo of my brother and I look at it all the time. (I chose a photo when he was in his teens because I find it easier to look at.)
I think the necklace is a good idea.
Nick