Death of my sister

My beautiful big sister died suddenly 5 days ago aged 55. Her life support was turned off and she was gone. I can’t understand or process what happened. Wednesday we were talking Friday she was gone. The last 3 days have been the worst. I live in a daze not knowing what I’m doing


Hi @Catherine68

Sorry for the loss of your sister :heart:

Sending you love and strength though this difficult time. I hope you have friends and family to support you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my big brother at 58 and also my parents a few years later. I wish I could hug you and offer some comfort. Please feel free to message back. :people_hugging::pray::purple_heart:

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Thank you for the message and I’m sorry for your losses. I thought this kind of thing happened to other people and in films never to me. It’s been a week today that I’ve had to try and carry on without her. It’s a struggle. We were so close and I don’t know how to cope

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Thank you for the message. I don’t have any strength at the moment. She’s been gone a week

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Good morning @Catherine68

You are stronger than you think and braver than you believe, you’ve made it through a weak so far. Just take it little by little. It’s going to be rocky but you’ll get there. I felt the same about bad things not happening to me! It’s always a story, well not this time :disappointed_relieved:


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You’re right I have made it through a week though it’s been a daze and I’ve had no idea what day it is most days. I’m stronger when I visit my parents which I did yesterday. I guess it’s one day at a time 🩷


Yes going out and visiting people definitely helps as it’s a good distraction :purple_heart:

You’ll get there xx

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Hey @Catherine68

Just checking in to see how you are doing :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I am very sorry for the loss of your sister. It’s so difficult especially if you were close. It is still very early days for you though. Just take it a day at a time as you have been doing. It is so hard to believe and accept I know but it will gradually get better, it just takes time. I lost my brother 6 months ago, sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. I still can’t fully process it. I think I will never accept it. Work keeps me busy though and my young adult children living at home. Also I do things and have had mini holidays with my Mum and children as know it helps my her to just do something. I send you love and hugs and hope you start to find a little peace in your heart.

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So sorry for your loss i too lost my big sister in jan, also having life support switched off. She was also the last of my family so i feel do alone. Im still struggling and the grief is getting very complicated. Im determined to carry on and try and live life yo the full but it’s very difficult at the moment. There have been improvements do please don’t despair and keep reaching out. Im here along with everyone else to listen and help with this difficult journey. Sending lots of love. Joy

Thank you for your messages. Yesterday wasn’t good we had to arrange my sisters funeral. My parents seem to be holding up better than me. I do try and distract myself from what is happening but then I feel guilty that I wasn’t thinking about her for a few minutes.

I’m finding it hard to come to terms with her having a brain haemorrhage and then watching her life support being turned off. She had unexpected heart surgery and was doing so well the hospital said she’d be going home soon and then she’s gone half an hour after she text me.

I’m thinking about going back to work until the funeral. How do you get by waiting to bury your sister and when will I stop being angry with everyone for carrying on their lives when my sister cannot :broken_heart:


I absolutely understand how you feel lovely, its the same for me i lost my beautiful sister on 13th May after a short battle with cancer that we never knew she had. We had exactly 11 weeks and 5 days, she was in excruciating pain so no time to make any happy memories i think my heart is broken forever. I wish i could tell you how to cope or get passed this, but i can’t it is devastating and changes our lives forever. My sister was only 57 and looked so young. I feel your pain its like nothing else ill never get over losing her so i get you x

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Thank you for your message it means a lot. We had my sisters funeral 6 days ago. They say time heals but I’m not sure I believe that. I think in time I will get stronger and learn how to exist without her but I’ll never live again. The NHS want to send me on a depression course but I’m only depressed because of my sisters sudden death. It’s understanding grief I need help with. I’m sorry to hear about your sister life is very cruel and I don’t understand why the good people in this world are taken too early. She has been gone 5 weeks now but I can’t move on or thin about anything else but her

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Thats the thing isnt it, the good ones are taken its extremely cruel. Sisters have a very special bond and that can never be broken. I, like you can’t think of anything else but my Sister she is constantly on my mind. I just can’t accept I’ll never see her again and i don’t ever think ill be happy ever again now our lives are changed forever. My Sister wanted to live and see her daughter have children, but she was robbed of that honour. Our Mum is 80 this year and they were best friends she is heart broken and its so difficult to see her in so much pain. I watch everyone else getting on with their lives and i just feel i can’t any more.

We are both in the same boat here. Our mum is also 80 this year in August and our dad’s birthday is the day after mums. We would’ve all gone round and celebrated in the garden. I’m sure I’ll still see them but it won’t be the same. Dad had his first Father’s Day without my sister. I’m back at work but I have no patience with people and I have no reason to join in with laughter or jokes. I don’t want to go out and I don’t want people asking how I am. I keep seeing her face then panic sets in that I won’t see her again. I really don’t have advice on how to get through this because I do not know

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Our Mums birthday is also in August, Our Dad passed away suddenly 15 years ago. You must try and celebrate with them even if you just sit in silence, but just be there. I know what you mean about the panic, its like fear rising in your stomach and that awful realisation that they are gone. I dont know the answer either im very angry at the Doctors for missing the cancer even when she kept going back she knew something wasnt right its very painful and like you i dont want to talk to anyone other than my Mum, daughter and niece because to me they are the only people who understand. Time isnt a great healer we just have to learn to live without them and let the grief walk alonside us. Here if you need to chat, vent whatever x

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Our mums birthday is August 11th Dads is 12th but on the 10th is my sisters wedding anniversary and my brother in law really isn’t coping well without her. I know what you mean about being angry with the doctors. My sister had a chest infection they kept giving her more and more antibiotics. She was struggling to breathe and had to take time off work and when she went back to the surgery yet again and saw a different Dr he told her to go straight to hospital. To cut a long story short the chest infection had spread to one of heart valves and she needed it replaced. She had fluid on her lungs. The heart surgery went well she was due to come home. At 10pm on 15th may she was texting me at 1030pm she was on life support after collapsing with a brain haemorrhage. We turned it off on the 17th and my beautiful sister was dead. How is your niece coping? May I ask where you live in the country?

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Thats absolutely devastating for you all. I’m constantly hearing the same things about mistakes and misdiagnosis. You just dont expect to lose your sister so young do you. My niece is struggling they had a really lovely relationship and my Sister brought her up on her own. My Sister asked me to always look after her which i will we are a very close family just me my Sister, Mum and our girls…now its just the four of us.

I live in Preston lovely, what about you?x

It’s so heartbreaking. My brother in law has started the complaints procedure. They were going to do it together when my sister was home as the heart consultant said it was the chest infection that caused the damaged heart valve. It won’t bring her back through will it. I live in Gloucestershire. Do you live close to your mum and niece? X