My wife died a few months ago, and it hard, all i can see is the way she was in hospital, i got her home for the last week of her life,was with her all the time ,then one day i just pop out to the kitchen came back and she had died,so i was not with her in the end. And i feel very guilty. All i can see in my head was the way she was near the end. I will never get over it. Where ever i am i am thinking about her. Married for 45 years
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@5639 I’m so sorry for your loss. Guilt is a normal part of grieving, I experienced it too after my husband passed away in his sleep two months ago.
Your wife was in her home and you were there - she wasn’t alone. Please be kind to yourself.
The loss is hard and I can’t say when it will become bearable. I miss my husband so much, it’s like a physical pain.
You are not alone.
Warmest of hugs.
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Thank you,you take care.
5639 so sorry for your loss.
I lost my wife in March we had been married for 47 years and together for 52, Hazel died in hospital after a long battle with cancer I was with her at the end but I still felt guilty that I had not done enough but this is a completely normal reaction.
Like you I can still see Hazel as she was over the 8 days before she left us but what I have done is had my favourite photograph of hazel made into a canvas and it is on the wall beside our bed so that Hazel who is smiling is the first and last thing I see every day I also say good night and good morning to her every day, I have kept her pillows on the bed the two she slept on and the one she used to cuddle at night which now lays where she used to and I do sometimes cuddle it myself.
The grief and loss we feel is real and it is painful, love and grief are the strongest emotions which is why it hurts so much just remember you did all that you could to make your wife’s final days as comfortable as possible you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about the grief is bad enough with out the guilt.
Keep coming here and keep writing your thoughts down everybody will try and help in some way there are no critics here just people who are going through the same pain and loss as yourself, we take comfort from each other.
Thanks John, it just so hard. Look after yourself
It is hard I still cry every day and have been through the guilt, begging, pleading and bargaining phases and and think I am now in the acceptance phase but still no easier to cope with.
I miss Hazel terribly I am what I am because of her and her leaving has left a massive hole in my life but I know in my heart of hearts that Hazel would want me to move on and live the best life I can until it is my turn which I will admit is easier said than done, if there is one very small crumb of comfort I have and that is Hazel will never have to go through the grief and loss that I have experienced not much I know but it is the only positive I can find, regardless of how things pan out Hazel will always be foremost in my thoughts and no matter where I am or what I am doing Hazel will be with me.