I never thought staring death in the face could take so much of my life force away from me…I’m still here …we all die eventually but when it steals all the love your heart holds away from you, how do you recover? You don’t… you know it’s going to come knocking at your door one day but your brain still tells you, it’s inconceivable…how did a real person become a photo in a frame on your sideboard happen? Or in an urn? How does your life become just a memory? Time continues on but you are left behind in some kind of foggy memory of a lifetime that now doesn’t exist? Is it a fear of death or a fear of life? How do you crossover from one to the other. We all know the quotes, one step at a time, etc, etc but what is the actual reality of what we are left with? The slow painful letting go to move forwards because life stops for nobody. What actually is life all about? I get up, go out, have friends but I know my clock is ticking away too until I become a photo in a frame on someone’s sideboard…what is it all about? Everything in my life now feels like fiction, a movie being made and then to be consigned to nothingness…to me life and death is intertwined neither is actually real …does anyone feel similar?


I’ve pondered somewhat similar things. We are here and then we are gone (and how can someone so physically present suddenly be gone - gone where - gone how). What we held as important isn’t as important to anyone else, our belongings are scattered and even if we have children, we will be remembered for two generations, three at the most, after that we will not only be a photo in a frame but a stranger in a photo in a frame. What is life all about, indeed? What is anything for? What is even real? It’s easy to get lost in those thoughts and feel very downhearted. :confused:


Hi @LynT I have had the same thoughts as you. I look at my husband’s photo and ask out loud “where are you?”. It’s so hard trying to comprehend what has actually happened. I don’t undetstand anything now.x


I think that too especially in the first few weeks after his death,I just want to know where is he,is he anywhere what’s happened to him is he with our families or what.


Hi all, yes, a very good question, i have always had a bit of a problem with photos , to the annoyance of my late wife. Again, subconsciously, i think this was it reminded me of loss, even though this might have been a happy memory. To answer your question how do you carry on…i am still a work in progress on this one, trying to build my inner resilance, by looking for crumbs of joy. Stay safe allen

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@LynT accurately describes how I’m feeling…
Today is not a good day!

I feel the same, it’s so hard when the person you love becomes just a name on a form. I used to worry about my husband all the time when he was ill, and now I worry about him being away from me when he relied on me so much for everything. It’s not easy to let go.


I think about that every day now too. It overshadows everything and I have no answer, just wanted to let you know you’re not the only one.

I know how you feel, I desperately want my life to go back to how it was “before” my husband died and wonder how I am going to go on without him.


That is the hardest thing to understand. My dad existed fully, as a fit and healthy man with no medications, full clean driving licence, involved in everyday life, and volunteering in the community. No different to his former years. Full of life.