December was always very special for us. I am German, and today (6th of December) I would give Philmore a small present because it is Nikolaus today. Traditional children put their boots out for St Nikolaus with their wishlist for Christmas, and St Nikolaus picks the lists up and, in return, leaves little presents in their boots. Then our wedding anniversary (14th of December) - a card for my husband and a small present. 24th of December - a small letter and a small present and finishing the present galore off - on 25th of December a big card and many presents for my lovely husband Philmore. Now - just sadness, happy memories, a smile, tears, confusion and loneliness. Please, take care of yourselves and I wish you a peaceful and hopeful Christmas time. Sending hugs and lots of love.
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Hi @Annaessex
This is really special to hear - thank you for sharing it with us 
Take good care,
Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team
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Thank you for sharing. Hopefully the memories will bring you comfort in the future. This will be my first Christmas without him. I’m not sure how it will go, making memories without him, doesn’t seem right. May your Christmas be kind to you.
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My birthday, my husband’s birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and soon Christmas and the New Year all without my husband. I hardly noticed that these were to be celebratory days, they were just days.
I am sorry that all of your December will be filled with sad firsts. It is awful. Make a plan for each day to do something nice for yourself, even if you are crying.
Much love.
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