We always made joint decisions about everything. One of us might have a bit more input than the other, depending on what it was. I am finding it overwhelming having to make decisions alone.
Just not having a ‘sounding board’ about whether my daughter’s symptoms mean she should stay at home. Should she have the latest Covid vaccination. That kind of thing.
What to do when things go wrong in the house. Most times he would just fix them.
We would discuss these things and come to a sensible joint decision. Now I don’t know if I am over-reacting without his sensible opinions to listen to. I have to decide what to do all on my own at a time when I am not really fit to decide anything.
I am up to my neck in sadmin forms that seem really complicated. He would have done them easily. Not that they would need filling in if he hadn’t died.
But it’s not having his reassuring presence that made everything easier that I miss the most.
Xx
I find this one really hard as we always made decisions together on everything. I miss his calm, laid back approach as I am a worrier, I am useless at DIY and dread anything going wrong in the home. I talk to him and ask him to guide me and this helps reassure me. I am dithering at the moment over taking antibiotics for a tooth infection I have, as last time I had antibiotics a few years ago, I had a severe reaction and nearly ended up in A&E, so I’m too scared to take them and especially as I am on my own and my friend is away this weekend if I needed help. It’s painful and I also drink and can’t have alcohol with them either which also makes me anxious. I have got really stressed about it tonight and think I will have to take them tomorrow when at least it’s Monday and everywhere will be open, he would tell me what to do, it’s so hard isn’t it?
I hate making decisions. It was so much easier before, when my lovely husband was here to be my sounding board. Mind you i think he made most of the decisions anyway!
I find myself walking up and down the hallway trying to see the pros and cons of any decision I need to make. At least it keeps my step count up
Ooh! Toothache is miserable. I feel sorry for you. I hope the antibiotics work quickly.
My husband was laid-back as well. I tend to overthink everything, often turning everything into a catastrophe in my head.
As for skinny, tell me about it! I have gone down at least one size since he died. I had been trying to lose a few pounds for a while, now it’s just fallen off me. I try to eat but I am never hungry. Grief is a very efficient diet, if somewhat extreme. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone! Xx
I like you all hate making decisions i stress about everything even the simple things. Gra was always so much more practical he would know on an instant what to do.
I hate the thought of been alone i suffer from agrophobia and panic attacks he always knew how to calm me. Like you willow i have lost lots of weight.xxx
I dither about whether to spread marmite or jam on my toast. Even though I know that I’m not going to eat it anyway. I have one bite and then put it in the bin. Then I feel guilty about throwing food away. Xx
Ong Willow thats me too. I did a boiled egg the other day then cut it up for the dog. Not for the first time have i cooked something then fed it to the dog or put itbin the bin xc
I lost my husband 12 months ago and feel exactly the same ,what happens if ,what shall i do ,what shouldn’t i do ,i attend a bereavement support group and have found that all these worries and feelings are part of our grieving process ,i know that probably doesnt help much ,but it makes me feel a little less alone ,i still find it hard to get up on a morning, i often think whats there to get up for ,but of course we do and get on with the day the best we can ,sending you all a massive hug x
Bless you Kitkat, hard isnt it, i have never felt pain as deep as this. I hope one day the pain isnt as intense. That i can smile from the heart and laugh with meaning and not falsehood. Xxx
Me too jevncute ,we put on this false front for people when we are crumbling inside ,unfortunately the only people who totally understand are the ones that are on this horrendous journey, i certainly get some comfort from my newfound friend, she lost her husband last year too ,and i have a loving family too but there is this terrible void as you will know ,the emptiness is crushing and the loneliness unbeerable x
She has been a godsend and believe it or not i found her on this site and she happens to live near me and her husband passed away in the same local hospice as mine ,are you anywhere near Rotherham south Yorkshire?x
No darling i live in Hull East Yorkshire. I also suffer from agrophobia and panic attacks so i only go out in a little safe space around my home. Gra was the driver abd took me to dr hospital etc. Now i am stuck very isolated and lonely. Xxx
