Decisions

My wife died in 2019. The moments that I miss is the silly things we did together and her ability to put on her WHAT TO DO hat and solve our problems. The BBC sitcom "Conversations from a Long Marriage " can be a bit too close for comfort
G54

Hi Drongo, yes things can be a bit to close for comfort and yes it’s the silly things that bring back memories both good and bad. I like the ‘to do hat’ because I am sure my husband would have said the same of me. There’s no getting away from it but life is hard and not the same and yes we all have to put that hat on and get on with life even when we don’t want to. I am pleased you seem to be able to smile and keep going, as they say the “the tough get going” but it’s hard each and every day. There’s always tomorrow which is a different day and the sun will shine. Bless you and keep safe.

Hi Susie and all
It’s coming up to 3 months since my beloved wife passed away and how right are you all when you say we want them back with their magic hat.
There’s times when I just want to shout her name out really loud, and her mine to, as I still can’t can’t except that she’s not with us anymore as we did everything together with her influences and decision makings.
And I to feel the same around the children holding it in. But of late there seeing through me. x

Derv, it’s really the worst thing we ever have to go through and if you want to shout do so but unfortunately your wife can’t answer. You say the family are beginning to see that you are struggling and I would say , tell them. My family thinks I am fine and we don’t talk about how I feel which is ok for them but not for me. I have always hidden my feelings about grief which is wrong, so please if you can, I know how much it will help. Take care of yourself, again not the easiest thing. xxx

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Hi Susie
Thanks for reaching out to me but we’re a little same where it comes to not showing our feelings so others don’t worry especially to our own. It feels like the three of us are living in our own time zones, and when we’re altogether at the same time, anyone of us can suddenly breakdown or show heart broken emotions out the blue. As a parent it kills me to think that at times I haven’t got the answers or how to deliver what I want to say to comfort them both without get emotional my self.
The three of put in place for this weekend to open up one by one so that we can express how we’re dealing with it together with how we’re each coping or hanging in there so to speak.
It’s going to be painful in seeing and hearing how cut up your children are, and in hope they can let it out and in not holding it in.
Thanks Susie xx

Well done but take care of yourself, this grieving thing is horrible and you have enough of your own without taking on your children’s as well. Always here for you. xx

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Hello Susie
Will do.
God bless you for your kind words and thoughts. Speak soon
Derv. xx

Hi Susie

Just thought I would drop you a line and ask how you are getting on. I do hope that you are managing as well as you can and that your ok.

Best wishes, and you take care

Derv x