Deep deep sadness

My beautiful husband died suddenly in January. I have never felt so lonely even in a room full of people. Don’t know how to live now. Why am I even bothering to mow the lawn? Life just seems so hopeless.

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Dear Sue, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand completely about feeling, not so much lonely but alone. Almost 2 years on and no matter where I am, whether it be in a crowd or a smaller group, I feel so alone. I never knew that losing someone could make us feel so different. Sometimes I look in the mirror just to check that it really is me. It looks like me staring at myself but it doesn’t feel like me. There are times when I think I am going completely barmy. Even though I have better days now, I think the feeling of being alone will always remain.

My husband was a chatterbox so without him the silence is deafening. I talk to him and imagine what his response would be, sometimes even saying it out loud. We go on because we have no choice. For me keeping busy has been key to helping me cope. So you keep mowing that lawn, it’s a distraction if nothing else. Sending you love, hugs and strength. Xx

Hi there Sue, so sorry for your loss, you have now joined our club, one that non of us wanted to be a member, however one that I have found invaluable in my quest to try and find another life for myself. Kate has mentioned how we all feel. Some of us determined to find that other life. The sense of loss for our loved ones will I think be with most of us for the rest of our lives. You have come to the right place for support, we all know exactly how you are feeling.
We had two large allotments and Brian wanted me to continue with his,he even drew me up a plan on how he wanted it and ordered his seeds which came after he had died, so I am doing as he wished. Sometimes I just don’t want to be there without him but feel I must persevere. I won’t be able to eat half the veg and fruit I grow, be giving it away, but it keeps me busy and helps on bad days, so got to be worth it. So yes, you must continue to mow the lawn and anything that will help to keep you motivated. Eat, sleep, exercise in other words look after yourself. I have been told not to rush into anything but to let life come to me. I live in hope. Take care Sue and keep posting we are all here to listen and help each other. Pat xxx

Dear Sue.
The title of your post is so apt,I think the other two posters will agree,it’s the deepest sadness ever,no one can prepare for this feeling.I saw a post recently where someone said that they don’t cry as much but that their soul weeps,I can really believe that.
I think most of us accept we have to find a new life, but deep down don’t want to do so. I have just been for a two hour walk with a friend this afternoon, it was really nice, but just seemed to emphasise what I am missing with him not being here
Hope I’m making sense to you all
These forums are a life line to me

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Thank you all so much for your kindness and understanding.

Hi there im so sorry for your loss no words van describe the agony I lost my soulmate of seventeen years on October the 24th gone so it was six months Wednesday gone since my soulmate fell asleep in my arms it doesn’t get better not for me every day is getting worse I cant go on we had our future mapped out dreams and hopes growing old together everything is gone so cruelly and brutally taken away from me my whole world has been blown apart look after yourself as much as possible x

Hi Sue … I lost my soulmate on 29th April … he was only poorly for eight weeks … I also lost both my sons seven years ago and two years ago almost. My husband was worried about leaving me I kept telling him don’t worry you go to Pete abd Jamie abd I will be alright. I do f know how or why I said that. I miss him so so much it’s so hard… I have to go on until my time comes but it feels like a lonely existence. Sending you hugs and understanding … Sue xx

In my thoughts x

So sorry for your loss Sue, I lost my husband of 50 years very suddenly May 19th last year. This month is going to be yet another nightmare.

You have come to the right place for support. We are all reluctant members of this group, the enforced journey we’re all travelling together gives us strength and comfort in knowing we are not alone, knowing we are not going mad, knowing what we feel is the same as we all feel.

I won’t lie and say it goes away, it doesn’t, we just learn to live as best we can without our husbands/wives by our side.

Blessings for strength and love

Thankyou Jen… it’s a long hard road isn’t it. When my two sons died I thought I would never be able to go on but somehow I’m still here. My husband suffered so much for the last eight weeks … I couldn’t be selfish enough to wish him to be here. Love from me xx

Dear Sue
Just wanted to send a virtual hug…I am so sorry about your losses…keep on believing that your three men are together…we are told that God is loving so it must be so. He also loves those of us who are left behind x


Thankyou …I believe they came for their dad and they are together … they have to be. I also believe and hope they will all one back for me when it’s my time. I asked Roger to make sure they did when I told him to close his eyes and go to them … thankyou for your kindness xx