Hello
Has anyone else felt angry that they were left to deal a death? with the care due to terminal illness and then sudden death of their mum in law, even tho the family don’t consider you family?
I was with her when she passed.
Just me and her husband.
My partner had got to get family ,thinking there was time.
I knew she was gone but I couldn’t bear to be the voice in his head for the rest of his life.
So I waited for a nurse to check on us.
Then I waited in the hall to catch my partner before anyone else told him.
Then I called his family to let them know.
And no one has asked me if I’m ok.
And I’m not.
Eight months later I am not okay.
And I don’t know if it’s anger or grief
It’s maybe a bit of both. Anger at others not considering you and recognising your part in this very sad story, and grief because there is a loss.
I wonder if there is some trauma also around being there when she passed, and having to experience a situation you maybe weren’t quite ready to have yet. Not that anyone is ready for that moment.
Why don’t you try to speak to your partner or a friend about this. Or try access some counselling as it may help you make some sense of how you are feeling.
It’s not good to hold onto these feelings and it’s upsetting you, so maybe trying to accept and feel these emotions will help ease your distress.
Be kind to yourself also - you need care and attention as much as everyone. Xx