Delayed grief

Grama passed march 2020 and Granda 11 months later feb 2021 hes just had his 3 year anniversary. For some reason this year hit me so so hard ive been off work with major depression due to it.

I was closer to granda i think because grama went first and i had that extra time with him before he got so so ill himself.
I was there at the end for him as well (first ever death ive witnessed)

I keep crying and breaking down. For the last few years i feel i cant move forward even though i know i need to. I feel stuck in this cycle of grief. Mam moved in with me so im not alone but i feel alone which is stupid.

I dont know how to cope with them both gone. They taught me so so much just not how to carry on without them.

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I can relate to that completely - my mum died in July 2014, I had previously promised her that I would take care of Alan (my stepdad) so looking out for him and being the executor for her estate kept me busy !

It was some months after that it caught up with me! She only lived 5 miles away and I had seen her earlier in the week but it was still unexpected as she was 83 and just starting to get a little frail !