Delayed Grief

My husband passed 7 year ago, at the time I thought I dealt with the grief by keep busy doing fun things with my children ensuring they still had routine. An event at new year which I attended for the first time since losing my husband triggered by grief and having met a new partner I then started to hate him I wanted my old life back. I resented him sharing my family when it’s not his and pushed him away because I can’t stop thinking about my husband. I want to be able to move forward.

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Hi Joyce,
I’m just over 3 years into my grief journey. I have now become settled in this new world I didn’t want to be part of. I have caring family and some very good friends that have never deserted me.
I know I don’t need or want another partner, I’m sure if I did I would be feeling like you do now.
I just thankful that I met and married such a wonderful husband and I am now just content to live out my days knowing one day I’ll be with him again.
I hope you find peace and make the decisions that are right for you.
Debbie x :blue_heart:

Thanks Debbie I felt the same way, but people were putting pressure on me to get back out there. Covid came along and that helped in a way as no one was out socialising, my could recharge. Then my partner came along when I didn’t expect it. The relationship after 2 years had gone into the next phase and I’ve took fright I have fled. I’m too busy thinking about what other people think instead of dealing with my on feelings.
New Year is always a sad for me, but I have never experienced the grief that has been triggered and I’m trying to process. My boys are grown up they have there life’s, and i feel angry that someone could/would share there life experiences when it should have been my husband. I am still very much a part of my husbands family life and I’m too scared to tell them that I had met someone else. I have told my partner how I feel, he is so understanding, I need to build his trust and allow him into my world.
I good starting place was in this community so I know I’m not alone with my feelings. Thank you and good health. Joyce xx


Hi JoyceP, that is so brave of you to get out there. I’m 16 months through this grief journey. My family are supportive but have their own lives . I’ve friends but I would love a friend companion to go out and about with maybe start a relationship but I feel disloyal to go forward. I had known my husband all my life married 42 years and so no other relationship could have the same footings but I feel I have to try move on. 25+ years is long time on my own.
You sound as if you have met a lovely person who is listening to you and understands.


Thank you. I have met a lovely man but he is jealous of the life I had and that is what has broken us up.
I needed him to support me through my grief so I can get through it I would have respected him more loved him more. But he’s made it all about him me rejecting him.
It’s a difficult one, but my well being and my family are my priority.
I wasn’t ready to get back out there, he was a friend of a friend who I have known for 6 years and thought it was time for fun. Has he served that yes. Maybe he was sent to me for that purpose and to allow me to know that there is a future with a nice gentleman I’m now 55 not frightened to be on my own and go places by myself as well as having many great friends. One day at a time keep smiling and enjoying myself.