Hello Jacqui, I feel your pain. Like you I have thrown myself into everything just to fill the hours. I’m only 18 months into widowhood but the loneliness never leaves. It is quite true what is said - you can be lonely in a crowd. I joined several U3A courses, I volunteer with a dementia group (I cared for my husband who suffered). But there is still the empty home to come back to. I do have a son who lives locally and feel very fortunate that I see him a couple of days a week but life is still hard. I am fed up with people saying it will get better. There isn’t any sign of it happening yet. But you, like Andrew, will be in my thoughts. There must be a place for us.
3 Likes
So sad to read your story Benjamin, which is so very like mine. I lost my hubby of 50 years before Xmas 22. I had to hand on my beloved Saluki Lurcher as I couldn’t provide his needs on my own - still heartbroken though I see him from time to time. I decided not to move from my house as so many memories and couldn’t face the move. It is becoming a struggle along with the heartache which seems to get more acute as time passes. I feel my life as I knew it is over so just try to find moments of ‘joy’ to keep going. Walking, chatting to a good friend, and escapist tele all help! Xx
2 Likes
I understand that feeling so well! I also live in a large house with beautiful view and have most things but I would give anything just to have company again. I feel I am too young. Well at least at heart to spend the rest of my days alone.
I still work either from home or office but wherever I am or go I feel lost.
I am lucky to have a wonderful family and should count my blessings , but I was never prepared for this .
Take care
2 Likes
Yeh i know exactly what you mean … people just dont understand how hard it is doing everything by yourself when youre used to being a couple do they ? Really pees me off tbh… even younger people dont seem to get it ? And they’re not by themselves are they ? So its alright for them to have a partner but not us !!! Huh x
Aw … just.read your post and know exactly what you mean too !! You miss that special person in your life. To love, to share, to care for and care for you. And its really hard to pretend that much else gives us joy isnt it ? It does a bit but its not like the love we lost is it ? 
i think you.realise that the further down this journey you go … that you miss having a special person in your life. We get you xx
2 Likes
Hello Benjamin my husband died 2019 a few months before covid so that was hard.
I do lots of things but it is lonely. Take care.
Val
5 Likes
Hi Rosie - it doesn’t go away does it. Feeling the same after 18 months. Xx
3 Likes
No it gets worse … just just think is this what my life is now ? Just a lonely mess … x
2 Likes
Hi Rosie
That must of been even harder facing lockdown alone… sorry for your loss
It’s been 8 months since I lost my partner
Yesterday I had what a call a good day popped on some upbeat music and had a dance two days before that I was a complete wreck… what a terrible place we are all faced with.
2 Likes
I know the rollercoaster ride of grief hey ? One day im up then im down … just rotten isnt it and not just that its so hard to look forward to anything isnt it … i darent even look forward …its too scary x
5 Likes
@Deb5
No nothing even holidays don’t excite me anymore… I stopped working a year ago to spend more time together … I’m not retirement age for another 9’years… wondering if I should get a job once the summer is over to get some sort of routine in my life instead of wondering around in my PJs or
Trying to fill my days as I’m so scared of the loneliness
3 Likes
Yeh maybe do some voluntary work first to get you back into the swing ? I do bit of voluntary work … Being alone is a terrible thing isnt it when youre so used to having them with us … xx
2 Likes
@Deb5
I used to volunteer in a
Cafe for the elderly. But I feel I need to work with younger people there’s something about youth that puts a
Spring back in your step instead of getting old before your time if you know what I mean…
3 Likes
I work on school meals . I always call the kids darling or love . The other day a couple of the lads said I was flirting with them , calling them love . It did make me smile . Working with them does help . We talk about footy and music . Mind some of the things they say does shock me . I have to keep my laugh in till they have gone . x
3 Likes