Dementia

End of life
1

My dad is at end stage dementia and stopped eating and drinking very little some time ago. He can no longer walk, stand or sit up and is doubly incontinent they have given him 3 weeks at most. My mother is in the same care home, but last week fell and broke her hip so in hospital and not together. I have stayed strong and logical all the way through ( former social worker). But now its hit me like a ton of bricks. I cant stop crying and live alone.

1 Like
2

Hello @Timeandspace,

I’m Seaneen, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about dad.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.

  • Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.

  • Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.

  • Alzheimer’s Society offer advice and support to people affected by dementia. You can call their Dementia Support Line free on 0333 150 3456.

I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.

Take good care - you are not alone.
Seaneen

3

So sorry to hear what you’re going through. My Mum also stopped eating and drinking. It’s a very difficult thing to watch. The last days were very peaceful. I spent a lot of time talking to her, playing her favourite music, stroking her hair and holding her hand. I’d like to believe she was aware of this and found some comfort. Please reach out to someone, you should not have to go through this alone. Look after yourself. Take breaks when you need to and try to find small things that keep you going: a walk, spending some time with a friend or pet, listen to a beautiful piece of music. Wishing you and your dad peace.

4

Hi EOL is the most devastating time you are in limbo and it is very surreal, we went through it with mum in April this year. I hope you have someone you can talk to, keep posting you need to keep in contact with others. Please take care of yourself , I would be a mess until I was with mum and be ok when i was there, its anticipatory grief just let it flow.