Denial & need strength

Hi guys, I lost my dad two years ago and now my beloved dog Rosco who was really my child almost a week ago

I have intense grief with suicidal thoughts, not because i really want to die but because i would do anything to be reunited with them at this point, i am going to pick up roscos ashes today and i really can’t bring myself to do it because that would mean fully accepting my new reality, which i am unable to do, I have not been home since it happened, i have been doing everything and anything not to be home, shopping, going to bars, etc, it may seem like i’m happy enough to be out but really i’m numbing the pain with these things. How do I move on from this? I don’t want this to be real



How your feeling is normal, I lost my husband then I lost our dear old little cat, it felt like a kick in the teeth, what had I done to deserve all this? Now I think it’s good that there together again & I have their ashes but I have to make the most of life until my time comes and I’ll be with them then, life at times is rough but try and feel good that after another body punch your still standing !

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I lost my mam very suddenly 14 months ago and four weeks later I lost my 9 year old chihuahua twinkle she went everywhere with me we’re I went she went she slept with me she was like my best friend I have just come out of hospital 2 weeks ago after been in intensive care for five days and whilst in hospital I lost my little yorkie he was 14 years old and no one told me until I got home and realised he wasn’t there
I also suffer wither depression which I have done for many years now and it was something my mam could never get her head round most people carnt but I promised myself and my sister when we lost our mam I would try and get on and make her proud and the last thing I said to my mam was I would look after my sister but even now I have thoughts that nothing is worth all this pain I just want to be with my mam and I am 49 years old
Married grown up family all married 9 beautiful grandchildren but the felling is at the back
Of my mind but I try to push it away and think what mam would want and things I could do to make her proud and been here every day is that even thoe my heart wants to be with her
People say it gets better to be honest I don’t think it does but we have to think of our loved ones that we have here with us and I wouldn’t want them to feel the way I feel every day
Hope this helps you a little bit sorry for your loss xx


I m sorry for your loss You must really miss your mother I don’t quite understand the rest of your post Do you feel you let her down and feel guilty Please don’t, just live well now and be compassionate to others

Heartbreaking I know. No quick fix, just time. I know how you feel about just wanting to be with them but that does fade…honestly. my husband died Febuary and I never thought Id fuction again. But small steps are the way to go. Ignore what you haven’t done and concentrate on what you have done no matter how small they might seem. Thats what i try to do now. Its hard. My thoughts are with you.