My husband has recurrent bowel cancer, it is peritoneal spread and he has large volume ascites. Its all very new and he hasnt been given timeline prognosis, but he has been put on palliative chemotherapy. They have told him he wont be cured. He is from west africa and in our 16years together our mix of culture has never had a negative impact, really its only enriched our relationship… til now. He is a born again Christian and part of what i believe to be a mega rich church who got their wealth through exploiting the poor, vulnerable and desperate. Culturally he believes sickness is evil and all things are possible in god… he is 100 percent convinced he is receiving faith healing, as are his family and all his friends, i am the outsider. I dont believe people are healed just because they believe hard enough… if only it were this easy. He is in denial, completely. I get this may be a part of the process but when it is all of his family i feel they are supporting his denial. He is giving money left right and centre to his church to ‘sow seed’, i believe he is ignoring symptoms and even refusing to persue our mortgage insurance who we need to inform within 16weeks of diagnosis… he believes if he asks for this he is accepting diagnosis and god will not heal him. Do i just support him and hope he will come around… I get that its getting him through but he is not taking the steps he needs to to secure finances (im a stay at home mom, he earns well, i cant possibly ever cover what he currently covers). We have an 8 and 9 year old, hes not making any memories with them or spending time with them, just praying and watching healing testimonies all day. I worry from what docs have said that soon he will decline rapidly
Hi @shhhhh ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I am so sorry that your husband is so unwell. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time at the moment. I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
You may also find the following useful.
https://community.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/forum/
Take good care,
Alex
I am so sorry to hear of your husband’s illness @shhhhh .
Sadly, my wife of 49 years died of large volume ascites (peritoneal cancer) eleven months ago. Her battle lasted fourteen months from diagnosis to her passing. Her end came swiftly and unexpectedly. It left our two adult children and me traumatised.
Although Anne and I were both brought up in the church, she Welsh Baptist, me Anglican, we had both lost any faith we might have had and my wife elected a humanist funeral, which in our case was very sympathetically handled.
I can understand the comfort and the hope that your husband’s faith brings him; I’ve seen it in others and who am I to judge them?
Although my wife had not been a communicant for many years, she retained close friends who continued to be so. During her illness, the congregation regularly prayed for her recovery and when learning of her death I was told they were very surprised and disappointed that their prayers hadn’t been answered. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her friends that I didn’t share their surprise.
It must be very worrying that he’s not taking measures to sustain the future of his family in the event of his passing. I wonder would there be any value in confiding your fears in an elder or minister of your husband’s church? Would a word from such an individual carry a little more weight?
Might the Bible help, there is much good advice there regarding responsibility to your family: 1. Timothy 5.8.
Stay strong, your children will need you, my father died when I was 7, I have very few memories of him.
I’m sorry I can’t offer anything more than my sympathy and to wish you forbearance in your travails.
Should the worst happen and you find yourself back here in rather sadder circumstances, please be assured that there’ll be plenty of people wanting to offer comfort and support.