Everyone says ‘there’s no one way to grieve, people grieve differently, etc’ but it’s always the same depiction which doesn’t half feel more lonely.
And the one that really makes me feel like I’m doing it wrong is the waking up having forgotten the death/turning to make a normal comment to them only to realise they’re not there any more.
When my dad died unexpectedly, it just became a new fact in my life, in 2 months I’ve never had a moment of ‘forgetting’ that he’s died - even in my dreams, and the one time he showed up, I still knew he was dead.
It’s wrong that he’s not there, but it was such a massive traumatic event I can adjust, but how could I forget?
I’m so sorry for the death of your dad, @sinovos. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” - I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts.
Our Sue Ryder counsellors compiled an article on programmes about grief - perhaps there may be something you can watch that feels more relatable to you.
Hi @sinovos I am sorry you have had to join us on here, I personally do not believe there is a way to grieve, that suggests there should be certain actions, a way of thinking to show that you are grieving, to me grief is just there because you have lost someone you love, grief is the continuing love that you have for that person.
I do show my grief because I cry, talk about her, talk to her.
You should never feel you are “doing it wrong” if your grief wants to make you sing, dance and go to parties that is fine, its your reaction to grief. The waking up and feeling you have forgotten their death is not uncommon, i suspect most on here have had moments like that, I don’t think I have forgotten it’s just such a huge and traumatic thing that my brain has not had time to adjust to the fact my wife is not here (physically) I had 53 years of her being with me its no surprise to me that occasionally my brain is confused that she is not, i assume in time it will adjust maybe it won’t, only time will tell.
I find that what people write on here is honest and open, i would rather read their words than what has been written or advised “officially” usually by people who have no experience, people on here have personally lived this awful experience.
Take care and don’t be hard on yourself.