Yes I understand. But believe me you are not alone, do let me know of any update or if you would like to talk about anything, I may not be an expert but always here to help in whatever way I can. Take care @Ladysuisei6
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Hi Keith,
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss.
Secondly, I would stay away from TikTok and YouTube.
If you are worried you might be depressed then you should definitely visit your GP.
The following comparison chart might be helpful:
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@Varun well the house I want will be renovated by Thursday barring any disasters , so Iām optimistic for this . Paperwork and administration etc needs to be done after Easter then apparently I will move in sometime in the first half of April or so . Iām trying not to get anxious about this now . I will now wait until next weekās update . I am trying to take this one step at a time but I feel this will now work out in the not too distant future. I suppose somewhere along the line we have to trust in the process and think that for once , something will go according to plan . Losing our loved ones seems to cast a dark shadow over absolutely everything, which is the reason for lack of optimism I think xxx
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@Crazy_Kate whilst the comparison chart might be helpful, there are things on there which definitely cross over . The symptoms of depression can be variable and they do change . I would advise anyone who hasnāt already got a diagnosis to visit a gp though . Depression within grief is very common xxx
Iām having to deal with lower back pain, which is making my life a misery. Got a stomach hernia too but canāt do much about that at the moment. Having to nurse myself better with paracetamol and deep heat at the moment
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@Keith68 see now your poor physical health combined with grieving is bound to affect your mood . With my moods I can literally feel the depression lift . Iāve been incredibly anxious lately about housing issues but getting a bit of perspective now . I can feel tonight that my mood a bit lighter . My grief is my constant companion so doesnāt make me depressed as such . When you said originally that you thought you might be depressed, then all these things youāre experiencing are contributing factors. Doesnāt mean youāre not depressed though . Why donāt you make an appointment with a gp and just have a chat ? They might recommend a medicationā¦ā¦I know lots of people fear antidepressant meds or just want to avoid them totally, but for a period of time they can be beneficial. I been on various medications for many years - some have been better than others . The last one they stuck me on was a mood stabilising med ( depakote) and the side effects were so bad I took myself off them . Iām just taking Valium and a beta blocker now for anxiety and yes , sometimes my mood is really low but if I manage my stress properly then I notice my mood is automatically better . I hope you start to feel well very soon and maybe consider a gp appointment. Take care x
A physio appointment for the 18th April, Iām ok but my back pain, Iām taking paracetamol and deep heat at the moment. But it is slowing me down! Been sleep most of today as worked a night shift last night.
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@Keith68 uou sound like youāve got a lot on your plate . How long you been dealing with grief as well then ?
I donāt work and tbh with the state of my moods etc my concentration is so poor I wouldnāt be fit to even do volunteer work at present. I need to do something to fill my time because I spend too much time ruminating. Itās not good .
You , on the other hand are dealing with grief , physical pain plus shift work which added all together must affect your mood . Take care x
I tried to keep working all through it, I work in security so that brings me into contact with people. I lost my mum last August just before bank holiday. I still get the memories and yes do miss her, even though mum was 95, it was her time. But no I had bit of a troublesome time since. Work up n down at the moment, Also had a consultation Im carrying a stomach hernia too. Which I think is the problem of my lower back pain. But Iām soldiering on, on the Paracetamol and Deep Heat and just hoping it takes effect.
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I donāt work only volunteer to do some things doesnāt matter if I do or donāt do it.
I think oh it is too much but at other times it takes my mind off thinking about how fed up I am and missing my husband.
I am out of pocket doing it but then I donāt feel it matters if donāt do it as no one is paying me.
No one to complain.
It is part of the five steps to wellbeing to try to get out of feeling so down. Give, exercise, notice, connect and learn something new.
So it is a focus. Forces me to get out, talk, write, try a different way etc.
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Good to hear that you are now optimistic, and things will happen. Take care and if you need to talk again let me know
Well today I woke up and am relieved I achieved getting the Easter garden finished after all my procrastinating yesterday. Also got a packed lunch ready to share and afterwards attended a fellowship meeting. In the morning I attended a zoom meeting of people who meet each week to share how we are and we shared a book we had read. I had been reading the biography of Catherine Cookson which was interesting. Then we were sharing our photos. I got upset because mine had not gone through again and I had wasted my time so put them on Facebook instead. I had been multi tasking instead of just watching so was sewing up knitted squares. But still found coming home to an empty house tough. I was cross with myself for eating chocolate. I am on a programme of CBT now. I have to write down what triggers me every day and record emotions, physical symptoms, behaviour and time.
I am thinking I must do some exercise today. The grass needs raking as it is full of moss and there is a group to attend this afternoon so I am taking patchwork to do there. I will batch cook chicken mushrooms cauliflower carrots rice and potatoes with grated cheese or the food will be wasted in the fridge
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It feels so good to read this that you are doing so many things and feeling great. I need this strength and get back to living a life. You are an inspiration.
Can I ask if you tell me or everyone about the CBT program you are on, are those like therapy session or learning from the internet?
Talkingspace. Self referral. So it is on telephone. 6 free sessions spaced every three weeks with homework. All about being very motivated to do what is being said. So homework. Feed back. Goal setting. SMART goals. (SPECIFIC, Measurable, achievable, realistic, timely).
Targeting.
@Bluebell1 well I been on it for 25 years now so I have got used to it ! In fact the psychiatrist I see tells me that Valium makes anxiety worse. At the moment because Iām not settled with my housing situation Iām very anxious all the time . Since I lost my beloved partner, I find it very difficult to function and make decisions. Itās dreadful. I miss him so much. Iām trying to hold off taking a Valium right now actually because I woke up in a panic feeling sick . Iām trying to wait until 7am another 20 minutes to see if I feel any better. This grief has really escalated for me since Iāve gone past the one year milestone. I thought things were meant to get easier but sadly Iām finding they arenāt 