Depression after loss of a loved one

I have become aware that I have been vulnerable and taken advantage of because of this, which has now left me in severe debt. How do I hope with the feeling of loss of self worth? My (surrogate) Mum passed away suddenly a few months ago and she was my confidant, my conscious and most of all my best friend who had supported me through some really tough times, which I survived. Now losing her I have fallen off the track and got myself scammed into thousands of pounds worth of debt! Please can someone help or advise before I lose myself? Thanks.

Hello and welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your surrogate mum, and that you’ve been the victim of a scam. It’s so sad that there are people out there who would take advantage of someone at a vulnerable time like that.

In terms of the financial issues, I’d suggest contacting the charity Step Change, who can give free debt advice, including an online debt advice tool and a telephone helpline. Find out more:

If you are suffering from depression, it sounds as though you might benefit from some counselling or other similar support - this would help you address those feelings of low self-worth. Here are some suggestions for how to access counselling:

  • You can make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or support services in your local area
  • You can use the NHS IAPT scheme to search for psychological therapies in your local area.
  • If you’re employed, check whether your employer offers an Employee Assistance Programme and what help you might be entitled to under this scheme

This Online Community is a safe and supportive place to use as an outlet for your feelings and talk to others who have also lost a loved one - I hope that writing things down here helps a little.

If there is anything else I can help with, or you have any questions about the Online Community, you can contact me at

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