Depression, dont belong anywhere, dont belong to anyone anymore...

Another early morning wake up-get up, first mug of tea at my computer desk…Another morning of crying as i contemplate getting out of bed, time now 5.45 am…My first cry of the day was of my MS society how i feel abandoned by them, then i started thinking of not only where i will move to, which county but also which type of home, baring in mind my needs, my illness, i have been playing around with so mny varying choices, some i dont want but may need, others i would prefer but wont be practical, then next came the crying of " i dont belong anywhere, i dont belong to anyone." well i dont since i lost my partner Richard of 20 years, 11th April, if we were still together i wouldn’t care where we moved to, just the two of us…I am feeling so alone, i just dont belong anywhere or to anyone…how can this happen when 68 years on this earth…Without my Richard i am nobody…

Jackie…

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Aww bless you I lost my husband just over a year ago.
I am 58!!!
Married 36 years!!
I used to feel exactly the same as you are and I still feel lost and alone plus I lost all my confidence! Don’t know who I can really trust any more.
Just felt useless alone and unwanted!!
Didn’t want to do this no more! To hard and heart breaking.
I have been back to work 11 months which is good as keeps me occupied.
I joined Park Run Saturday’s I’m with 400+ other people.
I go out to socialise every opportunity I get.
But yes it’s still difficult! Can’t get used to living alone and coming home to an empty house after work and nights out! It’s absolutely horrendous.
Little steps turn into bigger steps xx
Take a day at a time xx
Sending you lots of love and hugs at this difficult time xx

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