Hello everyone. I haven’t visited for a little while. I think that the lockdown has had a bigger impact than I thought. They say the devil makes work for idle hands but maybe also for idle minds. At least at work I was seeing people and t walking about the everyday stuff that people talk about. I h ave tried to “keep busy” but it is sometimes physically difficult to do things. My thoughts are always with my husband and what happened when he died and how the longing for him is still testing me apart every day even though he’s been gone five years. In all that time I have never dreamt of him not even once and I do wish I could. I have been hoping to get back to work asap but now have been told I have lost my job . Everything I have worked for and tried to build will be gone. Why is it that when you are widowed there are folk who assume that you are “well provided for” I am not. I am worried sick as I am limited physically in what is can do. I don’t like as though I have a problem but after all the illness and surgery I am limited. I wish he was here. With him I could climb mountains . Now I am facing a dark future and yes I know that a lot of people are in the same b o at through no fault of their own. I just feel that more and more is being piled on and I can’t take anymore. I feel that everything is being taken away again and I’m sick of trying sick of pain both physical and emotional. Losing my husband broke everything inside of me I lost the only thing that I had ever wanted in my life which up until I met him had been unhapoy. When we met and realised that we wanted to be together U had true happiness for the first time in my life and our years together were wonderful. Sorry for the rant but I am really struggling now and if I can’t work I will be in even more misery. No family no friends no future.
Hello Bell, your more than welcome to rant and I do understand just how you feel. When I started to read your post I could sympathise totally because that is exactly how I feel but then you wrote about your work and being made redundant it broke my heart for you. There is so very little I can say, from personal experience I know how bad being made redundant feels normally but under the present circumstances it will be devastating coupled with not having your husband around to share your burden with kind of doubles the pain. We will all be hoping that things get just a little better and that by writing about your problems it helps. Keeping busy is the main thing for me and at present that is limited but it helps to stop you thinking to much. I am sure over the coming weeks there will be many more posts like yours so it may be helpful to keep reading and see if there is any useful information because there must be some financial help somewhere. Sorry I can’t help any more but you are in my thoughts and we are always here for you. Bless you and know we are here. xx
Hi Bell, as @SusieM says, it can be very difficult when you have lost your job, so it must be a very worrying time for you, especially as in your case you have very little else going on in your life and are limited at what you can do due to your physical illness. I just spoke about you to my mum as she was crying as she really misses dad, she is getting very lonely, and I told her that I can understand how bad it is for her but hopefully her children and her siblings can help make life a little less lonely for her, and that I feel sad about you that you unfortunately do not have a support network, so please feel free to keep talking here, we will be your support network here and try and help you get through day by day. Thank you.
Hello Bell, so sorry to hear what you are having to go through, just when you need your husband’s support. We can’t hep you practically, so wish we could, but can offer you caring support and love. This site has definitely helped me in my bleakest moments, there is always someone to give you words of comfort and support so that somehow you don’t feel so alone. I so hope things start working out for you and you can feel stronger and a little bit more able to cope with what life has cruelly thrown at you. You’re not alone,sending love x