Despair

Losing a partner
1

Finding everyday very hard, I keep having to face things on my own it’s a real up hill battle .Went to one off are favourite places today and sat and cried and wished he was still here with me .My life seams to be getting worse I look for him everywhere he was my world and now I have nothing and nobody
I don’t want to keep feeling such despair

10 Likes
2

We too had a lovely place to go, close to where we live, sitting in the car just having chips and icecream, watching the world go by, Cromer will always be our happy place, although even there is empty as I walk in the crowds but in my bubble alone

3

What a lovely place to be your happy place me and my husband went there a few years ago

4

I lost my husband in September so it’s early days for us. It’s so hard waking up each day without them and even worse trying to take on tasks they did for us. I’ve never had to do diy or move heavy things on my own and it’s bloody hard. I cry most days as my life is so empty without him.x

3 Likes
5

I am 12 mths tomorrow and I don’t think it’s a good idea to revisit the places you went together, it just fills you with sadness, I have learnt I have to go to new places where there are no memories because I can’t go back to the past, it’s too much heartache. I have to make new memories that don’t cause me pain, there is no choice as going back just brings something back that can’t ever be had again

3 Likes
6

I found it very hard going anywhere that I went with with my steve he was my world and we went everywhere together but I have to try x

1 Like
7

I was the same, we were never apart for over 20yrs but I purposely try to avoid places we went together because what purpose does it serve? Other than to create more yearning and longing for them and the past, however if it brings comfort then it’s ok

8

Lyn I think we are all different and deal with things in different ways. Sometimes I can go to places that me and Steve used to go together and other times I find it hard and strangely enough I sometimes look for him there. I personally couldn’t go away on a holiday as he passed away on holiday but if I’m fortunate enough to be hear in a few years time I think I’d like to visit new places but for me for now it’s one day at a time. Take care.

9

We had a holiday/retirement home abroad, which I need to go to next month to sort out the foreign probate. I’ve put it on the market and can’t wait to get rid of it. Our retirement plans of spending more time there are so heartbreaking. I’m dreading going there.

2 Likes
10

Absolutely agree, hence why I said if it brings comfort then that’s good, we can only share our own experiences not anyone else’s

1 Like
11

@Derek364 yes sadly some things and places we can’t avoid as we have no choice, like in your situation. Hope it all goes ok for you

12

I’m having to take some friends with me so they can sort through her clothes, which needs to be done. Haven’t been able to face doing that at home yet. It’s only been 6 weeks but my grief is just getting worse

13

Hope all goes well I haven’t been able to do Steve’s clothes yet take care

14

I haven’t done my husbands clothes yet, I’ve tried a few times but they are just in suitcases for now until I’m ready to do it. I have just ordered a memory bear from some of them though.

2 Likes
15

That sounds like a really good idea I still got Steve’s clothes in his wardrobe

2 Likes
16

I had my Steve’s in there for ages and it was upsetting seeing them there knowing he wasn’t coming back to wear them. I put them in the back room and was going to sort out for charity but couldn’t do it. I chose some though for my bear. That will be emotional but I’ll take comfort in it.

17

@Derek364 i had to do this too, but I went before he died. And the weekend I was away he went downhill and I’ll never forgive myself, although he wanted me to go.

It’s all in the hands of a solicitor with power of attorney now.

1 Like
18

Same … i cant move them :frowning: god what a life isnt it. I think what frightens me the most is being alone … 15 months on i still hate him not being here - I miss having him here so much :frowning: xx

2 Likes
19

So sorry you are feeling this way ,I lost my husband January 2024,the road of grief is hard, Take care

3 Likes
20

It just about 5 months for me and I hate being on my own. I’m retired so I’m here all day every day .sometimes it’s really hard to get up in the morning :disappointed_relieved:

4 Likes